Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Stop taking the piss out of Biden!


That's his nurse's job.

[vetran]

too true

I asked my son to pass me the television remote control.


"Did your dad bother you and make you get the remote?," he asked.


"Listen, you little tulip,' I said, "I was the remote."

[vetran]

was aTw working up to it?

just got back from hospital . ... I had a mole removed from my penis. The surgeon said I'll be OK,..
but the RSPCA said they'll prosecute if I ever do it again.

[vetran]

This year I will most probably have to spend Valentine's day at home, on my own, crying and wanking


Same as every year since 1995

[vetran]

Day 286 without sex.



Went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

[vetran]

New research shows porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

[vetran]

I've just read that having orgasms is one of the healthiest ways to relieve stress.
So does that mean if you're told to go "F**K yourself" what they are really saying is "I care about you"?

[vetran]

Does Africa have a Lynx 'England' that smells of cigarettes and disappointment?

[vetran]

If I wasn't a depressed alcoholic I would be married with kids and a mortgage by now.


Every cloud...

[vetran]

I read somewhere that 6.7% of people have an alcohol problem, and I couldn't help thinking, "6.7%...that would make a pretty strong beer."