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Please put more jokes here

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    Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
    Good artists borrow;

    Great artists steal!
    and the greatest don't get caught

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      Originally posted by SimonMac View Post
      Good artists borrow;

      Great artists steal!
      Piss artists fall over
      Doing a stroll around Windsor on 11 Sept 2 Oct for Alzheimer's Society. You can chuck me a few quid here if you like: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/lmallen-1

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        It finally happened!

        The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" (did you know the odds of there being a doctor on a flight are 32:1?)

        I leapt up and said yes!


        Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a ballpoint pen.

        I'd say that the likelihood of him making it was 13.6%.

        In the end he didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable.

        I knew a doctorate in statistics would prove useful one day
        {emotionless greeting}

        Three Word Slogan

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          I was asked to join a band as their rhythm guitarist. They are a covers band who mostly do Alanis Morissette and Bruce Dickinson songs.

          They're called "Irony Maiden"
          {emotionless greeting}

          Three Word Slogan

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            I was in a band called The Symbolics.

            Sym left so we called it a day.
            The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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              There was a real band in Brighton called 'Dumpies Rusty Nuts'. Peel played them a couple of times.

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                I got fired from my job for asking my customers whether they would prefer smoking or non-smoking.
                Apparently the correct terms are 'cremation' and 'burial'.

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                  I have a Russian friend who's a sound technician.

                  And a Czech one too. And a Czech one too.

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                    I was in a band where the drummer had only one piece of kit. But it worked out ok, he just used it as cymbal for rhythm.
                    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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                      Without school swimming lessons, I wouldn't be where I am today.


                      By the river, wearing pyjamas, about to save a drowning brick
                      {emotionless greeting}

                      Three Word Slogan

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