Advice Needed - Student Son's housemate threatening violence !

[MaryPoppins]

If you can't sort an "adult spat" out without resorting to physical violence, you really haven't learned anything.

Aye. The troublemaker does sound like perhaps a slap wouldn't do him any harm, but I'm not sure the OPs son is the one who should administer it under the circumstances, particularly while having to live in the same house.

On balance, that approach possibly wouldn't go the way OH describes; it could escalate badly.

If he can't be removed from the property though, I'm sure there are ways of demonstrating to him that his crap won't be endured - without the need for violence.

[Old Hack]

You sure?

Just one sector, but almost anything dealing with public security will be the same.

https://www.gov.uk/government/public...land-and-wales

https://www.gov.uk/government/public...gulated-by-dft


possibly as a spook or finance geek then an affray, ABH or conspiracy to wound conviction would not count against you too much. But you wouldn't get anywhere near children or the public neither would your partner.

Nope, all wrong. I am DV and have a 'colourful' past.

Just for the record, my son is not a noodle armed choir boy. I have no doubt he'd knock the sh*t out of you in a second, Mr. Billy Big Balls. But he's trying to apply some common sense here and not resort to stupidity wherein he's more likely to end up in trouble. So please, no more suggestions that extreme violence is the solution in this case.

Balls, he's backing down to a coward.

If you can't sort an "adult spat" out without resorting to physical violence, you really haven't learned anything. Is this your solution to any conflict? What about a boss who picks on you... beat them up behind the bike sheds?

The whole point of growing up and going to university is to learn how to sort these things out without resorting to your fists... that's how children do things.

No, the whole thing about growing up is identifying who responds to the stick, and who responds to the carrot and working with that knowledge; A good manager knows which person needs shouting at, and which needs mollycoddling. It's the same in life; some people will laugh in your face if you try and use reason. Others only understand violence. That's just a fact of life.

I know of a contractor who after getting verbal with an elderly neighbour who got workmen in to cut down the trees in the garden had plod come round and wanted to give them a caution for breach of the peace

They refused as their clearance would be borked, but then they needed high level clearance for where they worked

It can matter, and they were doing an ordinary job they were not a spook or anything like that

As I said, I am DV and have had a colourful life.

[Ticktock]

A good manager knows which person needs shouting at, and which needs mollycoddling. I

Very funny. A good manager knows that they should never try shouting at their staff, as it will only end badly for them.

HTH, BIDI as you seem determined to act like a **** in this thread.

[eek]

There is 1 solution. Get your son and the other one to threaten to move out and stop buying the bills. As the contract is across all three names that would leave the person left in the house paying the whole lot of facing eviction.

Yes its not the nicest approach but its better than violence. The student union will however see this all the time and should be able to give rational advice...

[Old Hack]

Very funny. A good manager knows that they should never try shouting at their staff, as it will only end badly for them.

HTH, BIDI as you seem determined to act like a **** in this thread.

Rubbish, absolute cock. A good manager knows who needs to be pushed, who needs to be cajoled and who needs to be nursed, as such. We don't all respond the same way, to the same actions, and to suggest otherwise is folly.

[MaryPoppins]

We don't all respond the same way, to the same actions, and to suggest otherwise is folly.

I don't think anyone's disputing that.

[vetran]

Nope, all wrong. I am DV and have a 'colourful' past.



Balls, he's backing down to a coward.

Dealing with secrets is different to dealing with people. AIUI you could be an axe murderer and get vetting for secrets. However a conviction for affray will exclude you from becoming a child minder, teacher or nurse.

No a wise man knows when to switch to different tactics.

[Ticktock]

Rubbish, absolute cock. A good manager knows who needs to be pushed, who needs to be cajoled and who needs to be nursed, as such. We don't all respond the same way, to the same actions, and to suggest otherwise is folly.

At my last place my team had a manager who was a complete cock.
He thought the same way as you seem to. He picked out who he thought he could shout at. He made the mistake of thinking that just because that person wouldn't stand up to him he could get away with it.
I don't think he expected the rest of us to step in, put him in his place, then lodge a complaint with the Programme Manager and have him removed.

My last permie place, HR were very keen on stepping in at the merest suggestion that a manager was not treating their staff with respect, whether that be by shouting, making comments in front of the rest of the team, or whatever. Obviously you seem to think that being professional is for pansies, and that you can get away with shouting and raving. You may get away with it for a while, but sooner or later you'll find yourself out on your ear.

[d000hg]

It's no surprise really. Someone who is good with their fists thinks clobbering is the solution to a problem. Someone who is good with their brain thinks otherwise.

Maintaining the armed forces is a good thing as it gives us somewhere to put the former, where they can be kept out of the way and serve some useful purpose to the latter.

[NotAllThere]

Aye. The troublemaker does sound like perhaps a slap wouldn't do him any harm, but I'm not sure the OPs son is the one who should administer it under the circumstances, particularly while having to live in the same house.

On balance, that approach possibly wouldn't go the way OH describes; it could escalate badly.

If he can't be removed from the property though, I'm sure there are ways of demonstrating to him that his crap won't be endured - without the need for violence.

Not that I condone it, but perhaps action could be targeted at mummy instead of boy?

The proper contractor approach is of course to buy the house they're living in, and then evict the scrote.