Children with ADHD. Real or bad parenting?

[SueEllen]

The 'smack' works due to the short sharp shock you get which hurts and makes you think - I did not like that why did it happen and how can I try and make sure it does not happen again?

Kids are very resilient but note I do not condone repeated smacks as that does lead to the wrong sort of behaviours being re-enforced.

I wonder why Autism is more prevalent now?

Better diagnosis.

They are now realising it is not just boys who suffer from these conditions, and there are more specialists who are aware of the problems. Unfortunately many GPs and others in primary care still come out with pig ignorant statements that conform to stereotypes e.g. you can't be autistic because you aren't a boy, you can't have ADHD because you aren't a middle class white boy.*

Oh and smacking children to stop them doing something doesn't work. They just ignore it, or if they are normal and bright they just do it behind your back.

In regards to children doing dangerous things e.g. putting hands in fire, running across the road - your first instinct is to grab them which frequently hurts them as it is a rough action.

*Yes I know people who work in the field and others who have the conditions.

[cojak]

My eldest has had behaviour problems all his life. Things recently have gone from bad, to worse, to rock bottom - but as a result he has finally been allocated a key worker and seems to be getting some help.

He's been referred him to an adult ADHD centre - waiting list 12-13 months. He'll be dead or in prison by then.

Sorry to hear that.

[mudskipper]

My eldest has had behaviour problems all his life. Things recently have gone from bad, to worse, to rock bottom - but as a result he has finally been allocated a key worker and seems to be getting some help.

He's been referred him to an adult ADHD centre - waiting list 12-13 months. He'll be dead or in prison by then.

[MarillionFan]

The 'smack' works due to the short sharp shock you get which hurts and makes you think - I did not like that why did it happen and how can I try and make sure it does not happen again?

Kids are very resilient but note I do not condone repeated smacks as that does lead to the wrong sort of behaviours being re-enforced.

I wonder why Autism is more prevalent now?

The smack works to stop the behaviour there and then. Your thought process is that it acts as a deterrent. But have a child that doesn't use short-term memory processing (which is what happens with ADHD), the child gets up jumps around and you belt them. A few minutes later they do it again. It's because they're memory processing of 'what happened last time' is flawed and so the impulse kicks in before the thinking about it.

But like you with your posts.

[Coalman]

So been attending the special unit for the last theee months for one day a week. For the other days two hours a day in mainstream (last month 1.5 hours) to be upped 15 minutes a week.

He doesn’t go in the class anymore sitting in a library with a 121. Not been to an assembly in a year and only just been allowed to have a playtime (we’d been picking him up just before). Can’t do clubs, can’t do lunchtimes, can’t do supermarkets, lost most of his friends now.

His draft EHCP has come through. 20 hours one to one in mainstream. So now rejecting that. School says he will need to leave as he now isn’t getting the curriculum.

With that draft I have now spent the last week having to visit special needs and behavioural schools. Some are like prisons, some like a one star motel Scooter would have stayed in, some religious, some normal looking.Quirky kids, slow kids, ADHD kids, kids wearing ear defenders, kids shouting, kids being restrained, loud kids, rude kids, special kids.

The school we went to today is good, up until eleven. A lot of schools will keep them until 18, but this was for juniors and seemed the best fit. They can deal with kids flipping out.

I asked how many kids went into mainstream when they leave this school. They said 4 in four years. 4! ******* four. I have to admit I cried.

So a special school next. I know where this will eventually go. I hate this thread.

MF - sorry to hear that.

We have some friends with an autistic child and been through very similar experiences as you. Their son is now at a specialist school and loves it, he is doing very well. Bredon School.

I hope all goes well with you and your son, it must be heartbreaking.

[Paddy]

ADHD tends to run in families and, in most cases, it's thought the genes you inherit from your parents are a significant factor in developing the condition.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/attent...r-adhd/causes/

[original PM]

I mean what he does behind closed doors with his adult partners...


ADHD is hugely over-reported although we can say parenting styles might mean it is genuinely more prevalent, or that in the past sufferers were just viewed as "naughty". Just because hitting someone stops them being noisy doesn't mean they are 'cured' possibly just traumatised.
Obviously those subjected to corporal punishment have grown up to be wonderful pillars of the financial, political and entertainment industries

Interestingly, or sadly, Autism definitely IS far more prevalent than in the past.

The 'smack' works due to the short sharp shock you get which hurts and makes you think - I did not like that why did it happen and how can I try and make sure it does not happen again?

Kids are very resilient but note I do not condone repeated smacks as that does lead to the wrong sort of behaviours being re-enforced.

I wonder why Autism is more prevalent now?

[original PM]

So you see physical punishment and ball gags as different?

That kind of thing is all the same to me.

Is it any different from making their wear a vest full of sand?

[d000hg]

I mean what he does behind closed doors with his adult partners...


ADHD is hugely over-reported although we can say parenting styles might mean it is genuinely more prevalent, or that in the past sufferers were just viewed as "naughty". Just because hitting someone stops them being noisy doesn't mean they are 'cured' possibly just traumatised.
Obviously those subjected to corporal punishment have grown up to be wonderful pillars of the financial, political and entertainment industries

Interestingly, or sadly, Autism definitely IS far more prevalent than in the past.

[cojak]

So you see physical punishment and ball gags as different?

That kind of thing is all the same to me.