PCs, teenagers and breakages

[lorakeen]

Cheers NLUK. All joking aside it is indeed tough to deal with a teen with aspergers. In the beginning, I doubtless did it all wrong.

Worse thing I think is the time I spend not knowing the full story. The first time the CPU failed I spent hours and hours (and money) swapping out DIMMs. mobos etc. Of course, if he'd told me he'd kicked the PC a few times it would have made me think. Same with his mobile, the repair guys asking me "no deffo no water damage has occurred". Then it has. Made me look a right dick

I'd actually prefer if he told the truth even if it was "oops sorry I punted the PC across the room".

In the past, when we entered his lair the cupboard door was smashed in half pretty much (held together by masking tape). He denied all knowledge. He didnt punch it at all apparently. it just broke one day. His little sister is 8 so I doubt she did it!

His defence is always "wasnt me" then when you point out the evidence, he fronts up gets aggressive and "you never believe me!". Its nuts but I guess thats aspergers for you.

THis isn't aspergers. You and/or him are using that as an excuse for his bad socialization.
Have you considered therapy? This stuff isn't going to get better on its own

[d000hg]

However that is what you have parents for. They need to educate you that lying is not effective certain parents are very good at teaching their kids.

True, it should be something that is a mark of childhood we leave behind. But frequently isn't. I'd say it's a common trait of deprived demographics to have this automatic reflex to deny everything, but then until recently it was cultural to try and avoid your taxes as far as possible - and this was applauded. And it's still considered perfectly normal to 'pad' any insurance claim to the extent you'd probably get odd looks if you didn't stick an extra 60" TV on or whatever.

[Zigenare]

Despite what NLUK think I'm not really a PC person.....
Looking for views from anyone else whos got a teenager especially one with aspergers (like my son).

Hes 18 now. Better than he was. Used to get wound up and smash things..... PEople online would annoy him, if the internet went down it was the end of the world etc. Hes been fine for years.

Recently though, we've had 3 faulty CPUs (they last 2-3 months), one mobo, several keyboards and mice. I was beginning to wonder.... Today "Accidentally bent wifi usb adaptor". Hmmmmm.....

Im beginning to wonder. Thats his mo - if wifi is slow, pull the adaptor out, ram it back in etc. Same with the pc, he has been known to kick it. Pretty sure thats whats caused all these cpu issues.

Anyone else relate? There does seem to be too many accidental breakages here.......
No good asking him he goes off on one and fronts up and gets aggressive. Long history of flat out lying and/or not admitting things.

Forgot to mention his mobile. Stopped charging. Got samsung to come around to repair it. MASSIVE water damage (despite me asking him that first up!) so not covered. He still swears they're wrong because he never dropped it in water. This sort of thing is VERY common with him, despite overwhelming evidence that hes lied, he will still front up deny it or blame something else.

Surely not all teenagers manage to wreck things so often?

He's 18, it's Ok to admit you can't cope. Get him sectioned before he kills/injures an other family member.

[northernladuk]

THis isn't aspergers. You and/or him are using that as an excuse for his bad socialization.
Have you considered therapy? This stuff isn't going to get better on its own

Wow... that's extremely brave or very stupid. Straight in telling someone their kid, who could possible be ASD but you have no idea, that it's bad socialization? There is a chance you could be right but if you aren't you are going to look like a right chunt.

Temper is part of ASD

Individuals with ASDs commonly have a low frustration tolerance and significant irritability. They may report that they alternate from calm to extreme anger very quickly. There have been several studies that suggest individuals with ASDs have difficulty understanding and interpreting their own emotions. If they are not able to recognize less intense emotions in themselves, they will not be able to develop skills to help themselves calm down prior to “losing control”.

If you've got the first sentence in your post completely wrong then the rest just makes you look like a complete twat.

PC is a moron of the highest order and is open season on here. His son, whether he's got ASD or not, is not. It's not really for us to diagnose but it's certainly not for us to guess and judge. And to indicate someone is a bad parent? Well, I guess it could just be me, but that's just a no no whoever it is. I feel for Mrs PC having to live with him if he's even a fraction of what he is on here but out right calling his parental abilities is one step too far for even me.

What a prick.

EDIT : Hey lorakeen, wanna do us all a favour and just **** off now?

Jeez it gets worse.... Discovered today that hes smashed a few things in his bedroom. Cupboard doors smashed in half, mirrored door, more holes in the wall. Not the first time unfortunately this has happened.

His explanation - he got annoyed when playing a computer game.

Like I said before, hes got issues and is seeing CAMHS at the moment. Waiting for Aspergers diagnosis - takes time.

[lorakeen]

Wow... that's extremely brave or very stupid. Straight in telling someone their kid, who could possible be ASD but you have no idea, that it's bad socialization? There is a chance you could be right but if you aren't you are going to look like a right chunt.

Temper is part of ASD

Actually, temper to such a degree is normally associated with fairly low functioning cases, which PC's kid doesn't seem to have.
Most kids have temper issues as teenagers. Instead of trying to pathologize the behaviour it is always better to try and correct. By PC's description, there don't seem to have been many attempts at that.
Pathologizing behaviour is always the bad way out and always has unintended consequences.
The fact the behaviour returned recently after years of good behaviour indicate this is not pathologic, but rather triggered by recent events.
If it was ASD, it would've gotten worse through the years, not gone away at the most difficult times then come back.

If you've got the first sentence in your post completely wrong then the rest just makes you look like a complete twat.

PC is a moron of the highest order and is open season on here. His son, whether he's got ASD or not, is not. It's not really for us to diagnose but it's certainly not for us to guess and judge. And to indicate someone is a bad parent? Well, I guess it could just be me, but that's just a no no whoever it is. I feel for Mrs PC having to live with him if he's even a fraction of what he is on here but out right calling his parental abilities is one step too far for even me.

What a prick.

EDIT : Hey lorakeen, wanna do us all a favour and just **** off now?

Nope.
Bragging about harassing and bullying people is a bad habit in kids and utterly disgusting in adults. <mod snip>

[cojak]

And this little flame war had better calm down quickly or mod intervention will be required.

[eek]

And this little flame war had better calm down quickly or mod intervention will be required.

You are getting soft in your old age. Lorakeen isn't helping anyone and never has - I would say Troll but then trolls have the redeeming of usually being funny and not simply attacking people.

[NotAllThere]

I'd say it's a common trait of deprived demographics to have this automatic reflex to deny everything...

As commemorated in this lively ditty.

[NotAllThere]

You are getting soft in your old age.

No, that's me. But I hear there are some pills...

[northernladuk]

The fact the behaviour returned recently after years of good behaviour indicate this is not pathologic, but rather triggered by recent events.
If it was ASD, it would've gotten worse through the years, not gone away at the most difficult times then come back.

The post I linked is from 2018 and it's not the only post on this topic. You've got to be a bit more careful you're properly aware of the situation before you start calling peoples parenting, dismissing his illness and making a judgement on a childs level of intelligence. You could (and did) get it wrong and look like a thoroughly horrible human being. We post some proper crap about each other on here but to date their kids and parenting skills have never been a target, until you popped up.