Teenagers are little sh@tes - spy software recommendation?

[original PM]

When I was a kid I was the same, but reading books. Probably many of us here were the same. So I don't know this is a new problem.

Blocking the network access is easy, unless you want to deliberately allow him access but teach him the self-control to be responsible?

I don't buy the "can't get out of bed" line though. He doesn't get the choice, if he has to be dragged to school in his PJs

I agree with this - what happens when he has to go to bed late for reasons which cannot be stopped - but he still has to get up early?

....

Bucket of cold water.

[d000hg]

Not to mention that if he's got any tech savvy and you tell him what you've done, he'll find a way around it. Kids are amazingly resourceful when there's a barrier to them doing what they want.

For the cost of a new router, I'd be buying one which has better controls for blocking access on a schedule. Providing he can't get onto the router interface to undo it, it's the surest way of stopping the internet from working.

Until he just buys a 4G dongle or hotspots his phone, and goes off-grid.

[psychocandy]

When I was a kid I was the same, but reading books. Probably many of us here were the same. So I don't know this is a new problem.

Blocking the network access is easy, unless you want to deliberately allow him access but teach him the self-control to be responsible?

I don't buy the "can't get out of bed" line though. He doesn't get the choice, if he has to be dragged to school in his PJs

Oh he does get out of bed. Its just he goes back to bed.

Its just neither myself or wife, who are both getting ready for work, and sorting out a 5 year old for school, has time to constantly check the bugger hasnt sneaked back to bed.

BTW - he gets a taxi to school which shows up outside at set time. (Not paid by me but by local council).

[d000hg]

I think you might have to make time. I'm sure it will be a hard slog but sometimes that's what you gotta do; one hopes it would get easier if you enforce tough discipline for a while.

Assuming it's end of term where you are, you've got the summer to figure it out I guess?

[psychocandy]

I think you might have to make time. I'm sure it will be a hard slog but sometimes that's what you gotta do; one hopes it would get easier if you enforce tough discipline for a while.

Assuming it's end of term where you are, you've got the summer to figure it out I guess?

Yep summer now at least. Asked him the other day if he had plans for the holidays.... Looked at me blankly. In other words, hes planning, sleep till midday, then online gaming from midday till 4am. repeat.

Problem is his school (and most of his friends) is 10 miles away so we have to drive him to the town. And most kids cant be arsed these days it seems anyway and would rather just speak online.

[Zigenare]

Yep summer now at least. Asked him the other day if he had plans for the holidays.... Looked at me blankly. In other words, hes planning, sleep till midday, then online gaming from midday till 4am. repeat.

Problem is his school (and most of his friends) is 10 miles away so we have to drive him to the town. And most kids cant be arsed these days it seems anyway and would rather just speak online.

He's under your roof, he needs to understand what the rules are - scrub that, he knows what the rules are, you haven't set any!

I hope you manage to get some boundaries in place and fast, otherwise you're going to have serious trouble ahead!

Start by taking his PC off him and explain why!

[LondonManc]

There is one solution.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EglOsfErtaE

[psychocandy]

Jeez it gets worse.... Discovered today that hes smashed a few things in his bedroom. Cupboard doors smashed in half, mirrored door, more holes in the wall. Not the first time unfortunately this has happened.

His explanation - he got annoyed when playing a computer game.

Like I said before, hes got issues and is seeing CAMHS at the moment. Waiting for Aspergers diagnosis - takes time.

To be honest, it seems like at the moment, every few days he will do something monumentally stupid or selfish. Its hard to know what to do for the best.

Taken his PC off him for now of course. Thing is he reckons he did this latest damage days ago but hes carried on as normal and not owned up.

Mrs PC really is at the end of her tether and wants him out. And has told him that - probably not the best plan but I can understand how she feels.

Shes been ill recently so this really doesn't help. Obviously, not having a great effect on his 5 year old sister. Never knew one kid could cause so much grief to be honest.

A few months ago he took a swing at me and hit me quite hard - all because he was having a bollacking for . Took a lot of will power for me NOT to deck him then. We decided to move past that even though some of the mental health professionals are telling us to call the police. Not ideal but I can see us being pushed in that direction to be honest.

Any suggestions? Especially from those who are parents to kids with "issues" like ours.

[northernladuk]

Suggestions? Quit this thread and don't play out every detail of your personal family problems on a forum that generally doesn't think very much of you.

You need to get help, not spew the inner workings of your family problems on a forum full of IT randoms.

Take it to a forum that deals with similar issues or at the very least take it over to mumsnet.

[Zigenare]

Jeez it gets worse.... Discovered today that hes smashed a few things in his bedroom. Cupboard doors smashed in half, mirrored door, more holes in the wall. Not the first time unfortunately this has happened.

His explanation - he got annoyed when playing a computer game.

Like I said before, hes got issues and is seeing CAMHS at the moment. Waiting for Aspergers diagnosis - takes time.

To be honest, it seems like at the moment, every few days he will do something monumentally stupid or selfish. Its hard to know what to do for the best.

Taken his PC off him for now of course. Thing is he reckons he did this latest damage days ago but hes carried on as normal and not owned up.

Mrs PC really is at the end of her tether and wants him out. And has told him that - probably not the best plan but I can understand how she feels.

Shes been ill recently so this really doesn't help. Obviously, not having a great effect on his 5 year old sister. Never knew one kid could cause so much grief to be honest.

A few months ago he took a swing at me and hit me quite hard - all because he was having a bollacking for . Took a lot of will power for me NOT to deck him then. We decided to move past that even though some of the mental health professionals are telling us to call the police. Not ideal but I can see us being pushed in that direction to be honest.

Any suggestions? Especially from those who are parents to kids with "issues" like ours.

A serious response...

You need to inform the Police - if only so that they know what they're dealing with when it happens again.

If he's violent to you then what's going to happen when he turns on your wife or daughter - you have a duty of care to them also!

You're not appearing to be coping very well, there's no shame in seeking professional help.