"I read somewhere..."

[mudskipper]

Headline of the day...

Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens - The Local

[NigelJK]

When I clicked on it I got an image of a nice Asian lady that wouldn't have made it to page 3?

[Old Greg]

EasyJet passenger threatened to stab pilot and passengers en route to Malaga | Daily Mail Online

[vetran]

MF on holiday - Oh Dear

EasyJet passenger threatened to stab pilot and passengers en route to Malaga | Daily Mail Online

A drunk passenger who downed two bottles of wine before threatening to stab an easyJet pilot has been jailed.

Martin Johnson, 56, bought two bottles of duty free wine at Bristol Airport and downed one before getting on the plane to Malaga.

Once on board he disappeared into the plane's toilet for nearly 10 minutes and the crew later found the empty bottle in the bin and urine all over the room.

Stewards alerted the captain who announced that the plane with 153 people on board was turning back after flying as far as Guernsey.

[Old Greg]

Sorry. Would love to stay and chat, but just flown home. Quick change of clothes then off again on another holiday.

Have a shandy for me at the bar.

Good to see Fat Camp is booming in this tough economic climate.

[OwlHoot]

http://indy100.independent.co.uk/art...ou--by5eGhCxvb

apparently I'm a Hemingway pretty much the same as when I'm sober.

Me too.

I thought Hemingways get slightly pissed, bore people to death with long soliloquies, and then deck them!

[MarillionFan]

I can imagine the write up.

You are an MF like 0.00001% of the population. You fill the bar insisting you are really in the poshest bar in town. The rate you consume the Alcohol & nuts means we have to have 8 deliveries a hour.


Maybe a CretinWatcher ?

You drool into your shandy assuring everyone that you really are something important as you wait for mummy to pick you up after her appointment with Uncle Suity.

Sorry. Would love to stay and chat, but just flown home. Quick change of clothes then off again on another holiday.

Have a shandy for me at the bar.

[NotAllThere]

I can imagine the write up.

You are an MF like 0.00001% of the population. You fill the bar insisting you are really in the poshest bar in town. The rate you consume the Alcohol & nuts means we have to have 8 deliveries a hour.


Maybe a CretinWatcher ?

You drool into your shandy* assuring everyone that you really are something important as you wait for mummy to pick you up after her appointment with Uncle Suity.

* The children's kind

[Old Greg]

I can imagine the write up.

You are an MF like 0.00001% of the population. You fill the bar insisting you are really in the poshest bar in town. The rate you consume the Alcohol & nuts means we have to have 8 deliveries a hour.


Maybe a CretinWatcher ?

You drool into your shandy assuring everyone that you really are something important as you wait for mummy to pick you up after her appointment with Uncle Suity.

Brexiter: You stagger into your nice quiet local pub after an afternoon drinking cider in a bus shelter. You tell everyone what a great boozer it is, and smash all the windows with a pool cue. You then demand cheaper drinks for everyone as the place has got right downhill recently, and explain to the landlord how he can clean up on his buildings insurance.

[NotAllThere]

blimey you a bremoaner? Pretty bleedin obvious given the title?

Edited it so even Brexiters will understand.