Long story short: Will you marry me ?

[tarbera]

Drunk texting has also got me into lots of bother so I feel for you

Some points

All women are crazy, she has probably told all her family and friends ordered a dress and is tasting wedding cakes - yes she is, so it's worse than you actually think by a factor of 10 check out her facebook status I bet it's "in relationship'

You will break her heart

Grow a pair and tell her now

Or get drunk and text her (not sexy texts, dumping texts) don't get them mixed up again !!!

[cojak]

I'd go for the 'it's not you, it's me' spiel.

As in 'you're not the one, it's me that's the div'...

[EternalOptimist]

[d000hg]

All women are crazy

As a corollary, all men are sexist bores.

[BrilloPad]

As a corollary, all men are sexist bores.

I will ask Mrs BP about that. As soon as she has finished descaling the kettle.

[Mattski]

Christ, what a mess..

"Comedy" option: fake your own death?

[Platypus]

Christ, what a mess..

"Comedy" option: fake your own death?

I have considered that

[mudskipper]

I have considered that

Be nice. Trot out the cliches - you're flattered - but you think of her as a friend, and don't love her. But let her know it's definitely a "no" - you don't want to end up in a situation where she still thinks there's hope (for her sake more than yours). And FFS stop flirting with her. Marrying the gf would probably do the trick...

[vwdan]

Marrying the gf would probably do the trick...

And what's that poor girl done to deserve this?

[suityou01]

Just sleep with her. Then after your two pumps and a squirt pathetic performance she won't go near you again in that way and have a right good laugh with her mates about your tiny penis.

You get to restore her self esteem and get a shag out of it. Win win