List your invented "fake facts"

[Drewster]

When you pass someone who you know on nodding terms and s/he says "how are you doing", this signifies an invitation for you to stop and tell them all your insignificant woes in exquisite detail.

When you pass someone you vaguely know and they assume a polite nod or "how are you doing" signifies an invitation to stop and tell you all their insignificant woes in exquisite detail - you are legally entitled to punch them repeatedly in the face

[TimberWolf]

When you pass someone you vaguely know and they assume a polite nod or "how are you doing" signifies an invitation to stop and tell you all their insignificant woes in exquisite detail - you are legally entitled to punch them repeatedly in the face

Drewster isn't a tw@t.

[MarillionFan]

Drewster passed his 11 Plus.

[DimPrawn]

I have a 14 inch cock.

http://www.bernalpublishing.com/poul...e_cockerel.jpg

[Drewster]

Drewster isn't a tw@t.

See that steaming jobbie over there... that is you that is!

Drewster passed his 11 Plus.

See that pile of smelly tulip over there.... that is your boyfriend! You love him!

[NotAllThere]

Gibbous (n) - hair that grows on a big toe, especially on a woman. Hence "Waxing gibbous tonight".

[NotAllThere]

No-one has every studied the reasons behind human curiosity.

[Mich the Tester]

All Australians wrestle crocodiles to death as part of their primary school syllabus.

[HairyArsedBloke]

At the last G8 meeting the Americans offered to return those US states that were once owned by Britain if they could borrow Gordon Brown for a week to help then solve their financial problems.

The deal fell apart because the French wanted their bits back too.

[HairyArsedBloke]

The lyrics to the song Mambo No. 5 were written by Al-Qaeda and are coded instructions on how to make mother of Satan.