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    I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had.


    He started counting but he fell asleep.
    {emotionless greeting}

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      I was at the gym when I noticed a hole in my trainer big enough to fit my finger in. Long story short, I'm now banned from the gym and she's pressing charges.
      The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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        Originally posted by WTFH View Post
        Why are they called customs sniffer dogs and not border colleagues?
        How can a dog be man's best friend when he'll tell the police where your stash is?
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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          Why are the Queen's pastry cooks like the commonwealth?


          Because they are the Queen's dough-minions.
          {emotionless greeting}

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            The council have said if we want our avenue to be electric, we'll have to apply for an Eddy grant.
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              There are two types of people in the world, those who understand cell division and those who… sorry, it's four types!
              There are four types of people in the world…
              I meant eight types.
              There are sixteen types of people in the world…
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                For All Hallow's Eve...

                “It’s actually easy to tell if your house is haunted. It isn’t. Grow up.”
                {emotionless greeting}

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                  “So I saw this bloke who was a cross between an ostrich and a serial killer. He was always burying other people’s heads in the sand.”
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                    “I was walking along today and on the road I saw a small baby ghost. Although thinking about it, it might have been a handkerchief.”

                    {emotionless greeting}

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                      “Halloween is the one day of the year when it’s ok to ask 'what are you?'”

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