Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I've heard rumours of a massive container load of chocolate bars from Beijing washing up on a Dorset beach.

Probably just Chinese Wispas

[vetran]

What's a zombies favourite snack?

Walkers' Crisps.

[vetran]

The first time I made love to Kate I thought of my late wife, Susan

I thought, this’ll teach her to be late

[vetran]

A family walks into an hotel lobby.
The dad goes to reception to book in.
As he finished booking in ,he said to the receptionist. " I hope the porn channel is disabled "
Receptionist replies "It's just regular porn, you sick bastard "

[vetran]

If you're going to join our American cousins and celebrate Thanksgiving, why not do it the old fashioned way...

By which I mean, go invite all your neighbours round for an enormous feast...
Kill them all,
And then take their land.

[vetran]

I used to have an inferiority complex, but it wasn't a very good one.

[vetran]

Mick Hucknall was arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit last night.
Apparently ,He was holding back the ears & the bunny's to tight to mention.

[vetran]

for the grammar Nazis

At a Nazi mine, a worker calls out to Hitler:
"Sir, we are mining too many useless Ores"
[Hitler rubs his chin, contemplating]
"So mine less"
[Grammar Nazi chimes in, from above]
"MINE FEWER"
[Hitler looks up]
"Yes?"

[vetran]

Told my girlfriend to meet me at the gym, then stood her up.

Just wanted to let her know, " We weren't working out."

[vetran]

Jazz

Whats the difference between a rocker and a jazzman?
A rocker plays 4 chords in front of 4000 people and a jazzman plays 4000 chords in front of 4 people