Online Dating

[Francko]

Franko, you sound like a truly top bloke mate. Do you have a Mrs Franko? cause if not I think you should get yourself up to the north east and fill your boots!

Cheers SA. Well, yes there is a Mrs Franko who is tall and slim but I was with an english woman for years, and yes, she was rather fat. I can confirm it was great, only problem was that at night the materax was bending towards her side and I was gradually sliding towards her (I am 80kg, she was close to 100 I think). Don't think you need to go up north to find large sizes, the south of England already has plenty of them (but the northerner ones are way more cheerful).

[SallyAnne]

only problem was that at night the materax was bending towards her side and I was gradually sliding towards her

[Numptycorner]

Anyway speaking of picking up birds, anyone ever been out clubbing on Christmas day?
First time ever for me and the females were full of good cheer and very obliging ....

They were blind drunk you mean, even you wouldn't find it hard to get a kiss this time of year

[sasguru]

They were blind drunk you mean, even you wouldn't find it hard to get a kiss this time of year

Says the bloke whose only contact with a female over the last few years is when his incontinent grandma plants a wet smacker on his cheeks.

[freakydancer]

yup im going alright, i dont think shes gonna be a proper lard arse, but if she is then im going to make my excuses after one drink and head home.

ill let you know how it all goes tommorrow morning.

unfortunatly she isnt a geordie, but she is northern. so who knows what i might get?

So, just how fat was this bird then?

[el duder]

So, just how fat was this bird then?

Yep. She was fat.

Think Chris Moyles, but a female version.

[freakydancer]

Yep. She was fat.

Think Chris Moyles, but a female version.

Sounds like quite a catch.

So, when are you seeing her again?

[el duder]

Sounds like quite a catch.

So, when are you seeing her again?

Not.

[freakydancer]

Not.

Did she take the news well?

[sasguru]

Did she take the news well?

She's on a pork scratchings binge as we speak.