Is calling her a "leaching cancerous b*tch" going a bit too far? Dating hell

[formant]

Not totally sure I agree with that, but I struggle with the 'forced' feel.

But er, sweet story about how you met your OH. I think.

Oh, there are decent online-daters of course. They just tend to get lost among all the slightly strange ones. Not sure whether I was in the decent or strange category when I gave it a go.

It's a ridiculous story. Not the direction I expected my life to take (despite the happy ending). Maybe that's why we're cutting speeches out of our wedding completely. Not the sort of thing my mum or his parents need to find out about.

[darmstadt]

So, own up, which one are you: Bad Online Dating Profiles and some advice: How to Seduce a Woman Online: 16 Steps - wikiHow and if you're really desperate: Shemale Flirt - Meet Sexy Shemales In your City Tonight!

[Gibbon]

But er, sweet story about how you met your OH. I think.

I don't find it sweet at all, deceitful moral cowardice is what it really is. If your relationship is that bad you are looking elsewhere then man up and move on before meeting someone else, I despise those men, in particular, who wait until they've found someone before moving on, reprehensible.

It also brings up the question of how do you know they won't cheat on you if things get a bit rough?

[formant]

I don't find it sweet at all, deceitful moral cowardice is what it really is. If your relationship is that bad you are looking elsewhere then man up and move on before meeting someone else, I despise those men, in particular, who wait until they've found someone before moving on, reprehensible.

It also brings up the question of how do you know they won't cheat on you if things get a bit rough?

Oh it was a crap thing to do, but neither of us actually cheated. That was the plan, but instead we realised we just need to actually leave. I agree, we both should have left much earlier, but these sort of things are complex and considering I was in the same situation he was in, I could obviously understand that he was feeling somewhat trapped.

So how do I know he won't cheat when things get a bit rough? Because I wouldn't, not in this relationship. Because when we're not talking about chronic cheaters, cheating usually occurs as a response to problems in the relationship. Like in his case, an abusive and violent partner who left the entire household and childrearing to him, 18 years of getting laid no more than twice a year, with the exception of brief periods of trying to conceive. My own reasons were less extreme, mostly growing apart, living together as flatmates rather than lovers, a partner who just didn't give a crap anymore. Either way, we won't allow our relationship to go down that route.
Also, there's always a first time for cheating, too. I mean neither of us had cheated before, but then we suddenly very much planned on doing so. So really, you can never actually be sure your partner won't cheat. That's why relationships thrive on this thing called trust.

That got rambly. Apologies.

[Mich the Tester]

18 years of getting laid no more than twice a year

How does it reach this point? I hear a lot of this and I just can't understand it, other than that people let themselves go and become unattractive to each other. Really, I just don't get this.

[mudskipper]

How does it reach this point? I hear a lot of this and I just can't understand it, other than that people let themselves go and become unattractive to each other. Really, I just don't get this.

I doubt it's about physical appearances. When your partner no longer seems like an attractive person, sex life is likely to take a nosedive.

Lots of other reasons why it can happen in an otherwise loving relationship.

Tiredness/kids keeping you up all night every night
Physical problems/impotence
Hormonal imbalances/illness

etc, etc, etc.

[Mich the Tester]

I doubt it's about physical appearances. When your partner no longer seems like an attractive person, sex life is likely to take a nosedive.

Lots of other reasons why it can happen in an otherwise loving relationship.

Tiredness/kids keeping you up all night every night
Physical problems/impotence
Hormonal imbalances/illness

etc, etc, etc.

Perhaps I'm lucky in that I still see Lady Tester as the Germanic High Priestess of Indie Rock and Sex. One more day at clientco, going home tomorrow evening for four nights

[formant]

There are just some people - probably more women than men - who just aren't into sex. I guess that's something some relationships can handle if they're otherwise a nice person and everything else is great. Unfortunately for my other half, that wasn't he case with his wife. And in that relationship it was like that from the start. Or from about three months into it anyway. Don't ask me why he married her anyway. Hmm.

My ex was like that, too. But it wasn't quite twice a year. More like once a month. He was otherwise nice though and the relationship was functional for several years.

Once upon a time I thought I'd stopped being interested in sex. Then I realised I just wasn't into my then-partner anymore.
So the not being attracted to them anymore definitely also exists.

Oh, and what mudskipper said. There are always some "good" reasons for temporary sexlessness.

[Ticktock]

I don't find it sweet at all, deceitful moral cowardice is what it really is. If your relationship is that bad you are looking elsewhere then man up and move on before meeting someone else, I despise those men, in particular, who wait until they've found someone before moving on, reprehensible.

It also brings up the question of how do you know they won't cheat on you if things get a bit rough?

A little bit sexist, especially as formant is of the female persuasion. So it's worse when men do it than wimmin?

[Old Greg]

A little bit sexist, especially as formant is of the female persuasion. So it's worse when men do it than wimmin?

Take no notice of Gibbon. He's just annoyed about the ongoing decline in traditional morality since the early Roman Republic. I expect he takes Cicero too seriously.