Crap advice for new contractors

[Cliphead]

Leave estate agent schedules around your desk for properties around 1.5 - 2 million. That's what DP does anyway.

[BlueSharp]

Turn up on your first day with an idiots guide to windows.

[craig1]

Make sure everyone knows that you've been hired in as the expert. Express loudly to the permies in similar roles that the management were very clear that everyone in-house was just not up to the job.

On a similar thread, start every sentence with "At my last contract". For example:
"At my last contract, I did all of the stuff you 10 people are doing in a week in my lunchtime"
"At my last contract, they all got paid half again as much as you lot"
"At my last contract, their managers were competent"
and so on.

[northernladuk]

Apply for any gig on jobserve you fancy just because you think you can give it a go....

[northernladuk]

and listen and take in everything an agent says to you. He/she is, after all, a professional.

[cojak]

Make sure everyone knows that you've been hired in as the expert. Express loudly to the permies in similar roles that the management were very clear that everyone in-house was just not up to the job.

On a similar thread, start every sentence with "At my last contract". For example:
"At my last contract, I did all of the stuff you 10 people are doing in a week in my lunchtime"
"At my last contract, they all got paid half again as much as you lot"
"At my last contract, their managers were competent"
and so on.

And if it's your first contract don't worry, just make it up (it will seem like you have experience).

[eek]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to corndog again.

OK whose sockie is this.

[quackhandle]

Tell the agent that you'll work for 100 notes less than advertised and remember to say "you take the rest, you deserve it."

qh

[IR35FanClub]

Join an EBT. You can keep 91% of your invoice and they are water tight.

And tell the permies you became a contractor so you could take more holiday.

[No2politics]

Crap advice for new contractors

This is so funny! Doing a 5 day gig at the moment and I'm being introduced as the 'subject matter expert'. I can see the anger/fear in the little permies eyes!!!