horrible day in the office :( got any jokes?

[EternalOptimist]

I say, I say, I say

this bloke walks into the doctors
bloke - Doctor, I have a cricket ball stuck up my @rse
doctor - Howzat ?
bloke - Dont YOU fckng start

[Mich the Tester]

Now that I've had four glasses of wine I understand that joke.

[suityou01]

Had a similar incident years ago. I took the manager to one side and said

"Listen, I am not an employee of your company. If you pursue this I will have to get my IR35 status looked at. If I am found to be in because of your actions then I am coming after to under the standard employees charter for my paid annual leave allowance, training entitlement, and shall expect to claim my sick days entitlement as paid sick leave should I fall ill during my tenure"

End of chat. We never got on after that, and I lasted the whole contract term and did a good job, but it certainly stopped him in his tracks.

C**** is c*****, sometimes you just need to give em a swift kick in the chuckies to let them know where they stand.

HTH.

[stevejohnson]

I think eek and simon kissed dudes and they liked it. And now they hope their girlfriends don't mind it.

[SimonMac]

I think eek and simon kissed dudes and they liked it. And now they hope their girlfriends don't mind it.

I would say I kissed a boy and YOUR girlfriend liked but, but as you are a sockie its about as much use arguing with you as Jimmy Savile trying to get into heavens under 18 disco night, instead I will just post a video of a cute kitten

[eek]

I think eek and simon kissed dudes and they liked it. And now they hope their girlfriends don't mind it.

Damn I'm still

You must spread some Reputation around before negging stevejohnson again

. Could someone do it for me.

[SimonMac]

Damn I'm still . Could someone do it for me.

Done, with a too just incase he was feeling left out, hope you don't get jealous, he means nothing to me xxx

[Sysman]

I say, I say, I say

What would you rather be or a wasp ?

Yikes! That's an old one!

[sbakoola]

Ask your manager if you can introduce yourself as "a disguised employee".

[EternalOptimist]

Yikes! That's an old one!

ok

I swatted three flies tonight, two males and a female

Mrs EO asked how I could tell the difference

Well, two were on me beer cans , one was on the phone