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Previously on "horrible day in the office :( got any jokes?"

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  • greenlake
    replied
    Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
    So a man walks into an optician's. Ouch.
    Better than driving into it, I guess....

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
    So a man walks into an optician's. Ouch.
    I thought it was a bar. Ouch. It was an iron bar.

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    So a man walks into an optician's. Ouch.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    I miss Syphalis......
    The nickname of ex-mrs-bp.

    Leave a comment:


  • mattfx
    replied
    Hah! I hadn't noticed the epic thread bump.

    Leave a comment:


  • fullyautomatix
    replied
    Originally posted by mattfx View Post
    "The first few weeks of joining weight watchers, you're just finding your feet!"


    "A rotund girl came up to me once and said 'Oi! I think you're being fatist' I said no dear, you're fattest."

    "David Cameron said he was going to put a cap on immigrants coming to the UK - which is wrong and against human rights - they should be able to wear what they like!"

    Some of my favourite Jimmy Carr lines to hopefully maybe cheer you up a little OP. Sorry to hear of your sucky day. Hit Jobserve - seems to have been an explosion of jobs in the infrastructure sector the last couple of days Good luck.
    I doubt that the OP has sustained the emotions 5 years later. We may never hear from him.

    Leave a comment:


  • mattfx
    replied
    "The first few weeks of joining weight watchers, you're just finding your feet!"


    "A rotund girl came up to me once and said 'Oi! I think you're being fatist' I said no dear, you're fattest."

    "David Cameron said he was going to put a cap on immigrants coming to the UK - which is wrong and against human rights - they should be able to wear what they like!"

    Some of my favourite Jimmy Carr lines to hopefully maybe cheer you up a little OP. Sorry to hear of your sucky day. Hit Jobserve - seems to have been an explosion of jobs in the infrastructure sector the last couple of days Good luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • Hobosapien
    replied
    RIP Catweazle.

    At least 93 was a better innings than most English cricketers.

    IIRC EO flounced after getting a temp ban for a dodgy photo (didn't see it so take it on the mod's word ). Ladbrokes are offering bets on whether AtW does same after being shafted out of his annual 'last post of year' competition following a similar temp ban.

    Leave a comment:


  • BR14
    replied
    Originally posted by greenlake View Post
    I guess all this modern technology was just too much for him....

    ahh, the telling bone

    Leave a comment:


  • greenlake
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    I miss EO......
    I guess all this modern technology was just too much for him....

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
    I miss Syphalis......
    Ftfy

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    er, i hadn't thought of a punchline. It was ajust a nice thought stand alone

    ok, hows about this :-


    I say, I say, I say
    what do you get if you cross an agent with a steamroller ?


    A warm glow of satisfaction
    A guaranteed flat rate
    A round of applause
    Revenge
    etc.....



    I miss EO......

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by Sysman View Post
    Yikes! That's an old one!


    ok

    I swatted three flies tonight, two males and a female

    Mrs EO asked how I could tell the difference

    Well, two were on me beer cans , one was on the phone

    Leave a comment:


  • sbakoola
    replied
    Ask your manager if you can introduce yourself as "a disguised employee".

    Leave a comment:


  • Sysman
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    I say, I say, I say

    What would you rather be or a wasp ?
    Yikes! That's an old one!

    Leave a comment:

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