Children with ADHD. Real or bad parenting?

[mudskipper]

Interesting. We had seen our GP a few times in the past, then a referral about six months ago, then took him to see a specialist, a numer of questionnaires to both us and school, back to see a specialist a few times(with son in tow), discussion with the school & had an immediate positive (strong) diagnosis.

Still unsure what it means outside of some extra help at School or putting a child on Ritalin. Having spent so much time recently (cutting back on travelling, ensuring I drop the kids off, pick up and spend extra time in the early evening before working again late into the night) to watch a clever child unable to sit & do a simple test (which at home they had aced everytime for a week) fail, completely broke my heart.

Having more than one child and seeing the daily beatings work on the other one is a sure indicator that one of them isn't firing on all cylinders.

Does he co-operate if he's got 1-1 attention?

Had (and still have) lots of issues with my eldest, so you have my sympathy, and I urge you to get it sorted so you don't end up where we did.

[Dallas]

Tractor,

I just tried your method on one of the psychopath directors here - calm rational answers - worked a treat!

Cheers!

[unixman]

My hunch is that ADHD doesn't exist, but I wouldn't know. I do believe children's behaviour can be affected by extremes of diet, eg. living on high octane sugar & nonstop KFC is bound to do something.

I don't know much about ADHD, but it is disquieting that the state is diagnosing undesired behaviour as a clinical condition and applying drugs to alter it. A tiny bit of me worries they will want to control adults in the same way. Far fetched ?

[tractor]

...

Tractor,

I just tried your method on one of the psychopath directors here - calm rational answers - worked a treat!

Cheers!

If that fails though, the judo approach can get spectacular results too

[d000hg]

Loosely related but someone told me that autism diagnoses have sky-rocketed in the last generation or two. I forget the numbers, something like it's gone from 1:2000 to 1:20 or equally crazy but he's just taken a job in a special autism school so I presume the figures come from somewhere reasonable.

[Zero Liability]

Sorry to hear that MF.

Try the non-medicine options before putting the kid on summat. These pills should generally be taken over a long period and will have unwanted side-effects (weight gain, skin problems).

And for once, I genuinely hope something good for you.

They're apt to cause behavioural/mental problems, as well.

[TykeMerc]

Loosely related but someone told me that autism diagnoses have sky-rocketed in the last generation or two. I forget the numbers, something like it's gone from 1:2000 to 1:20 or equally crazy but he's just taken a job in a special autism school so I presume the figures come from somewhere reasonable.

A sizeable bit of that is likely because they've found that Autism is a really big spectrum and that many of the behavioural things they used to call god knows what are on that spectrum so it's at least in part a re-branding.

Not to say that the spectrum isn't being exploited of course by unscrupulous parents and professionals, which just makes it harder for the genuine cases.

ADHD is without doubt a reality, but as people have said it's a great excuse/label/opportunity that's heavily exploited in addition to the real sufferers.

As people have said there's no perfect treatment or action to take. Especially in child development it's a case of work out what's right for the individual, ideally by trying bits of past cases to hopefully save time.

[tractor]

...

A sizeable bit of that is likely because they've found that Autism is a really big spectrum and that many of the behavioural things they used to call god knows what are on that spectrum so it's at least in part a re-branding.

Not to say that the spectrum isn't being exploited of course by unscrupulous parents and professionals, which just makes it harder for the genuine cases.

ADHD is without doubt a reality, but as people have said it's a great excuse/label/opportunity that's heavily exploited in addition to the real sufferers.

As people have said there's no perfect treatment or action to take. Especially in child development it's a case of work out what's right for the individual, ideally by trying bits of past cases to hopefully save time.

Indeed and some of the indicators that used to be used to rule out autism are now included in the spectrum. Lots of investigation is required including blood work, MRI scans, EEG scans and lots and lots of professional observation and still, often a full diagnosis cannot be assured. Poor GD was in last week for another scan that required a general gassing and complete immobility. Not nice for the little ones, or Mum and Dad

[mudskipper]

Three years later and has been diagnosed with ADHD in the last few weeks.

On the bright side, does that mean you get to jump the queues at Legoland?

[SpontaneousOrder]

It's real. My other half's brother suffers and you can see it in every aspect of his life.

**edit** I read the rest of the thread. If you're recognising that it's real then he's already at a massive advantage compared to kids of 20 or 30 years ago. From my limited anecdotal experience, more understanding and less medication might be a good thing.

I'm not saying no medication (i'm not qualified) - just that understanding how a person works is better than dosing them up and hoping they'll be 'normal'. Other half's bro got dosed up as a kid which made him slow which made him feel even worse inside, while the teachers just wrote him off as a naughty kid.

At 30 years old now I have to remind him to hurry up an put his shoes on or he'll miss the train (he's spotted a spider int he porch and gone off on a tangent), and see clearly that the naughty kid thing is just bulltulip teachers wanting to force arbitrary shaped pegs through round holes.