Things I want to know

[DimPrawn]

You mean tourettes I assume, you moronic shrimp.

I normally run my posts through a spell checker, but seeing you were the audience, I didn't feel the need.

[MaryPoppins]

I normally run my posts through a spell checker, but seeing you were the audience, I didn't feel the need.

Lame, fish face.

[mudskipper]

I can understand the fart thing, but the rest is jibba jabba.

WMPS. Please can we stay on topic?

"When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

...

John of the UK said, "Farts expelled in cold air leave what can only be described as a long bushy
tail. This is quite funny waiting on a train station platform on a cold dark frosty morning. A person will move away from everyone to a safe distance, and then release a long quiet fart, only to have a sudden and dramatic long bushy white tail coming from their anus; it goes down a little way and slowly curves up ending in a point, just like a dogs tail!"

[cailin maith]

WMPS. Please can we stay on topic?

"When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

...

John of the UK said, "Farts expelled in cold air leave what can only be described as a long bushy
tail. This is quite funny waiting on a train station platform on a cold dark frosty morning. A person will move away from everyone to a safe distance, and then release a long quiet fart, only to have a sudden and dramatic long bushy white tail coming from their anus; it goes down a little way and slowly curves up ending in a point, just like a dogs tail!"

I have real tears of laughter rolling down my face.

[MaryPoppins]

WMPS. Please can we stay on topic?

"When it is cold outside and you fart, can you see it like you can see your breath?

...

John of the UK said, "Farts expelled in cold air leave what can only be described as a long bushy
tail. This is quite funny waiting on a train station platform on a cold dark frosty morning. A person will move away from everyone to a safe distance, and then release a long quiet fart, only to have a sudden and dramatic long bushy white tail coming from their anus; it goes down a little way and slowly curves up ending in a point, just like a dogs tail!"

I really hope it's freezing cold tomorrow morning, I need to test this out. I'm deeply appreciative of your research into this subject, k2p2.

[MarillionFan]

I really hope it's freezing cold tomorrow morning, I need to test this out. I'm deeply appreciative of your research into this subject, k2p2.

So what's the thing with farting and red eye then?

[MaryPoppins]

So what's the thing with farting and red eye then?

The farting on someone's pillow thing, you mean?

I'm sure k2 will provide some information around that. In the meantime:

How can one cover up a fart?
There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill.
As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart.
CJT addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt hole and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the 'Buff Muff'!"
Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can.

[mudskipper]

So what's the thing with farting and red eye then?

I hope this will answer your question.

This is like experts exchange on farts

[MarillionFan]

The farting on someone's pillow thing, you mean?

.

Yes.

So who's a silent farter and who's loud and proud? Will this be Wilmslows thread for tomorrow? Will Gricer let one rip on the train? Will Mary follow through?

All this and more on tomorrow's episode of General.

[DimPrawn]

Do farts have lumps in them?