Life on the bench: in my dressing gown

[cojak]

HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW

I was happy in the days of an invoiced hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now
I am looking for a job but I can't find a job
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Why do I spend valuable time
Calling agents who don't care if I
Live or die

Today Jobserve worked fine, I applied for nine
But heaven knows I'm miserable now
I am waiting for a call but I don't get a call
And heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
Oh why do I spend valuable time
Calling agents who don't care if I
Live or die

What they asked of me on the interview day
Was really a piece of cake
"But you've been on the bench too long" they said
And I naturally fled

In my life
Oh why do I smile
At agents who I'd much rather
Kick in the eye

I was happy in the days of a conjugal hour
But heaven knows I'm miserable now
"No, you've been on the dole too long" she said
I had a noodle instead

In my life
Why do I spend valuable time
On CUK just to get my
post count high

And we've got another Pruffrock!

[RichardCranium]

HEAVEN KNOWS I'M MISERABLE NOW

That needs preserving for prosperity, somewhere.

[zeitghost]

I doubt that would be sufficient these days. But if they do, I wanna prosthetic like the bloke I saw just before Xmas.

It was cold and wet out but he was wearing shorts. On his feet were trainers but only a sock on his right foot. His left leg from the knee down was a Terminator-style leg. (Actually, he probably had an artificial left foot too, now I come to think of it.) It was a highly polished rod with a couple of narrower rods either side, and a black and shiny socket affair his knee went into. It losoked futuristic and hydraulic. I expected it to either give off steam at the joint as he walked, or to go "Pssshhhh, hissssss" instead. But it didn't. Sadly.

So, none of your rubbishy flesh-coloured artificial stuff and walking with a dodgy limp for me, matey boy. I want proper bionics.

Too sporty and cheap. I want bionic.
Too plastic. I want bionic.
Rubbish pink foot. I want bionic.
It's mechanical. I want bionic.
Android isn't good enough. I want bionic.
Metallic red is good. I want bionic.
Not sci-fi horrific. I want bionic.
Like this. Bionic. And I'd wear shorts too.

And if I can't have bionic, I'm having one of these. No, sod it, that's a permie's leg.

This is a contractor's artificial leg.

One of this year's intake (not on any of our courses though) had two artificial legs & an artificial arm.

[RichardCranium]

One of this year's intake had two artificial legs & an artificial arm.

Sod being anywhere near them in a thunderstorm!

[NeverBeenNorthOfTheM25]

It's the sleepless nights that are the worst bit.

Lying there in the dark not knowing when circumstances will change.

Beating yourself up for making 'career' decisions that seemed valid at the time but, with hindsight, are no longer valid.

Feeling bad about not being able to answer questions from family and friends that want to help: "So when do you think you'll get a job?".

Trying not to get angry about questions from people that don't understand: "Have you considered looking on the InterNet to look for a job? How can you be in IT and out of work? Have you considered one of those government training programmes?"

And when a close friend finally confesses her life is going wrong and could do with a little help, not being able to help - that hurts.

Oh well. I'll go back to watching online techie training videos. At least then I'll feel like I'm doing something about the situation. Or I'll finally fall asleep!

Dude. Promise me you won't do anything rash, I can see the depression seeping through bud.

Good luck, god I hope I never have to go the job center though. It sounds like the most depressing place on earth and all for £60 odd pounds a week!

[RichardCranium]

Dude. Promise me you won't do anything rash, I can see the depression seeping through bud.

No worries. I now know what depression looks like and have strategies for dealing with it; predominantly bitching on here.

Good luck, god I hope I never have to go the job centre though. It sounds like the most depressing place on earth and all for £60 odd pounds a week!

Suggestion: next time you are out shopping and you go past one, pop in. Tell the person on 'reception' that you want to use the terminals to do a job search. If you're lucky, they'll give you a crash course.

Anyway, have a play on the terminal and see if you can find any suitable jobs. Contrary to popular misconception, they get loads of permie jobs and a handful of contracts advertised.

While in there you'll get to see what goes on. It's nothing like as bad as the old DSS offices or a council Housing Benefit office. They are real tulip-holes.

[MrMark]

Good luck, god I hope I never have to go the job center though. It sounds like the most depressing place on earth and all for £60 odd pounds a week!

Some of us go thru the bulltulip to get £12 a week or less (lack of Nat Insurance contributions). Apparently tho my NI contributions towards my pension are paid up by doing this. What's worse is having an advisor show you how to do a "search for jobs" on their particular jobscreen.

[RichardCranium]

How's this?

It's not even 8 o'clock in the morning and I have already done a permie application and sent it off.

Where did I get the motivation? It's for a brewery.

[FiveTimes]

How's this?

It's not even 8 o'clock in the morning and I have already done a permie application and sent it off.

Where did I get the motivation? It's for a brewery.

good man

[FiveTimes]

Up until a minute ago I had 4 live roles.

I've spoken to 2 of the agents and no updates available.

I'll call the other one in a bit.

I've just had a rejection from the 4th one

I am still going to get a gig this week !