Life on the bench: in my dressing gown

[DieScum]

Both have written fictitious bollocks! Both have promoted themselves into roles they didn't have. For example, one has qualifications I know he failed. The other has extended a role backwards at a high profile employer and omitted the scummy job he'd had before.

Looked at one ex-colleagues Linkedin page recently. He had completely omitted two jobs and extended the dates on others to cover up the time.

An ex-boss of mine had a link to his blog on his linkedin profile. One article discusses his thoughts on interviews including "always be 100% truthful. never exaggerate or lie in anyway on your CV."

Which would be fine except working with him he frequently lied about my experience while packing me off on assignments to customers. He also claims 20 years IT experience on his profile. Not bad considering he is 36. Can you really count school/uni?

[TheFaQQer]

Fingers crossed - I have an interview lined up for when I am at the UK Oracle User Group this week. Must say it quietly, as I don't want to jinx it.

Spent a couple of hours with people yesterday talking about a job that they are offering that I'd be interested in doing. Haven't discussed salary yet, but they seem quite interested, and so am I.

Find out this week.

[cailin maith]

Spent a couple of hours with people yesterday talking about a job that they are offering that I'd be interested in doing. Haven't discussed salary yet, but they seem quite interested, and so am I.

Find out this week.

Fingers crossed FaQ!

[RichardCranium]

Why do I get the mentalist agents?

I applied for a gig and got told I had to send all the ID stuff just to register with them. So I did. Then I get this call:

Agent: "We cannot accept your passport photo."

Me: "Why?"

Agent: "You have glasses on."

Me: "Yeeees. That's because I wear glasses."

Agent: "Our compliance specialist thinks that's not allowed so she has been on the 'phone to The People That Know These Things and they said that is Most Irregular. They think your passport is not valid."

Me: "I had the photo done with me wearing glasses because I wear them when out and about, such as going through Customs."

Agent: "But they cover your face so it is not a valid representation of what you look like."



Me: "Well that passport got me into Russia and the Middle East and back again without any trouble."

[ as I said that I just KNEW I had said the wrong thing. this role requires CTC security clearance and agents just don't understand ]

Agent: "I see. Hold on"

<mutter> <mutter> <mutter>

Agent: "Sorry but we cannot accept your passport as identification."


Is it me? Do they just make this stuff up to give me something to get cross about? Am I on some secret agency Wind-Up-The-Losers List?

[EternalOptimist]

tell em they are not glasses, they are contract lenses



igmc

[conned tractor]

Why do I get the mentalist agents?

<mutter> <mutter> <mutter>

Agent: "Sorry but we cannot accept your passport as identification."


Is it me? Do they just make this stuff up to give me something to get cross about? Am I on some secret agency Wind-Up-The-Losers List?

What have you done to pi$$ them off. You seem to get a disproportional amount of carp?

Made me laugh anyhow.

[alreadypacked]

Agent: "Sorry but we cannot accept your passport as identification."


Is it me? Do they just make this stuff up to give me something to get cross about? Am I on some secret agency Wind-Up-The-Losers List?

Maybe it your tone of voice, have a look on the internet see if you could buy a device to change your voice. Any suggestions from the board, what voice would get you past the agent to an interview.

[George Parr]

Agent: "We cannot accept your passport photo."

Me: "Why?"

Agent: "You have glasses on."

From the passport office website:

The photographs must be:
• identical;
• in colour, not black and white;
• taken within the last month;
• taken against a plain light grey or plain cream background;
• 45 millimetres (mm) high x 35 millimetres (mm) wide (however, please do not trim your photographs to meet this condition);
• fit into the template, with your eyes positioned in the area marked by the shaded band;
• undamaged, for example; not torn, creased, or marked;
• free from shadows;
• printed on plain white photographic paper;
• taken with your eyes open and clearly visible (with no sunglasses or tinted glasses, and no hair across your eyes);
• free from reflection or glare on your glasses, and the frames must not cover your eyes (where possible, we recommend that you remove your
glasses)


Recommend <> require

[RichardCranium]

From the passport office website:

The photographs must be:
• with no tinted glasses;

Aha! Well done for posting that. I have tinted lenses.

So the Passport Office have issued me with a passport with a photo they should have rejected.

I've beaten the system

[TheFaQQer]

I've beaten the system

To be fair, it seems to be beating you pretty well at the moment