Divorce while a contractor?

[SallyAnne]

I got an email off my wife....She said that she had wished to discuss living arrangements with me this evening and feels that i am not bending over backwards like a man who wants his family back!?!?!

I ignored it...

WTF?!? Is this a wind up?!!!

(And i still have to stop myself typing me real name )

Dont worry - you'll always be Pheonix to me

[pleomax]

Well..............I feel lost now
Got given a "contract" titled "Guidelines for us to live in the same house".

Detailing lots of things, about me not walking naked around the house, sleeping in the lounge these are all things i must do. Saying my parents are not welcome in the house when she is there WTF?

Her setting up her own bank account and me paying her housekeeping for derv, food clothes (So i have to pay for her to swan off when she feels like it).

The best is yet to come, "I am embarking on a new relationship which has not included sex so far........."

I needed to post it is very lengthy but basically restricts me in what i can and cannot do in our house, and dosn't really mention restricting her at all.

Phoenix

[pleomax]

she want me to sign this and give it back to her tomorrow, that to me seems very bad until i have taken advice?

Anyone agree?

[oracleslave]

I am nowhere near as clued up as others that have given you advice in this thread but my 2p worth is don't sign anything. Tell her you need time to review some elements of the document and may want to make some small edits. That should buy you some time to get professional advise which I would urgently suggest you do. Hopefully there will be some early posters tomorrow that can give you some more useful ideas but if it was me i'd start preparing myself for a protracted battle and probably start getting my head around the impending divorce as it sounds like there is little hope of turning this around in the short term.

[pleomax]

Thank you, you have just confirmed what i thought as the document in its current state is very one sided and is a personnel attack on me.

I am thinking things like if this is how it is, then the children should not be exposed to a n others as it is detrimental to the belief that we had agreed to bring them up in.

I am venting here, I have no one else to talk to at the moment and I am looking for someone who can give me advice legally that is close to client tomorrow and is cheap (i.e free).

P

[Bagpuss]

The best is yet to come, "I am embarking on a new relationship which has not included sex so far........."

Phoenix

As I said earlier in this post before you revealed the above...............

"Sounds like she's found someone else, women always have the escape route well planned before any ultimatum is delivered!"

"not included sex so far" means she has sucked him off and will shag him ASAP

Invite your parents around for the Bank Holiday weekend now!

[vetran]

OK she is setting out her stall, get moderation in now. She wants her cake and to eat the whole bakery.

Get your problems fixed now.

Ask her how she can expect you to stand by while she goes off and has another relationship, get the moderator to ask her how she would feel if you banged her sister/best mate etc.

Her family (if they vaguely like you) may act as the voice of reason she will listen to especially if they are fairly conventional.

SA the bloke is hurting, if you were sure Mr SA was servicing his secretary would your mates support you if you started throwing cutlery & crockery at him in a drunken rage. Course they would. Just cause he is male doesn't make him a wife beater.

admittedly OP is a bit of a drama queen but it was SELF harming.

[pleomax]

OK she is setting out her stall, get moderation in now. She wants her cake and to eat the whole bakery.

Get your problems fixed now.

Ask her how she can expect you to stand by while she goes off and has another relationship, get the moderator to ask her how she would feel if you banged her sister/best mate etc.

Her family (if they vaguely like you) may act as the voice of reason she will listen to especially if they are fairly conventional.

SA the bloke is hurting, if you were sure Mr SA was servicing his secretary would your mates support you if you started throwing cutlery & crockery at him in a drunken rage. Course they would. Just cause he is male doesn't make him a wife beater.

admittedly OP is a bit of a drama queen but it was SELF harming.

She has all the aces thou doesn't she? She knows how much i love the girls and even thou she said she would never use them against me she is right now.

Her family will not do that although they are Catholics I have spoken out in her defense in numerous occasions, the last time was just before our second child was born, they didn't speak to us for over two years.

She has said that she has spoken to her mother and has her blessings.


Yes i am a drama queen but my emotions are all over the shop!

[TykeMerc]

Pleomax as others have said and I'm sure you know, don't sign anything.
Take a couple of copies of that document and lodge them somewhere safe i.e. with someone you trust that can't be got at.
She's admitted to adultery on paper and the rest of the document sounds rather unreasonable too, this is ammunition if it comes to a legal fight.

I'm afraid that it doesn't sound good and that you will probably end up in legals, be extremely careful what you say and do and collect further evidence if you can.

I'm very sad that this sounds so grim, but in this situation you absolutely MUST look after your own interests so that you are in a position to look after your children.

[vetran]

All the aces

Yep she has so you need to play carefully.

You haven't done this before get someone who has and whose opinion you trust. If her family aren't willing to intervene on your behalf then you are unlikely to win. If her mum was going to say to her don't be a muppet then you might have a chance.

Yo have been told to get professional advice on the self harming & drinking DO IT. If you make Mother Theresa look like a crack whore you may see your kids.