Permie announcements that ring alarm bells

[NotAllThere]

At least I've got job security, unlike contractors

I like to hear that one.

The one that really scared me was:

This is the team. They're all contractors too! Who selected them? Well, I did - no I don't have any technical knowledge, I relied on the agency. By the way - most of the functional guys are off from Wednesday for a team building workshop, so you'll need to get their requirement by tomorrow...

Thankfully, I'd read "Deathmarch" by Yourdon.

[NickFitz]

"We haven't got a desk for you yet, or a computer. Why don't you sit with [Dave|Steve|Mike] and he'll tell you what we're doing."

Cue three days irritating the most junior member of the team by watching them work and tutting occasionally

[TheFaQQer]

"We haven't got a desk for you yet, or a computer. Why don't you sit with [Dave|Steve|Mike] and he'll tell you what we're doing."

Cue three days irritating the most junior member of the team by watching them work and tutting occasionally

weeks

[DS23]

weeks

months

[Chugnut]

"The fire alarms will be tested at 9:30. Thank you."

[DS23]

"based upon feedback from the results of last years survey we've decided to implement weekly departmental meetings 9am every friday. the meetings will be a round-robin review of activities and will last between 1 and 2 hours. everyone has to attend and contribute."

[Platypus]

"based upon feedback from the results of last years survey we've decided to implement weekly departmental meetings 9am every friday. the meetings will be a round-robin review of activities and will last between 1 and 2 hours. everyone has to attend and contribute."

4pm

[expat]

Please choose one of these times to attend the team-building morning or afternoon. All are required to attend, both employees and contractors. For contractors, the time is not billable.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

First day at one gig I got told they would send a junior member of staff to the coffee machine (only a few feet from my desk) as it was cheaper than me doing it.

[Fred Bloggs]

"We're desperate for you, when can you start?" Followed by a) 6 weeks with no computer and b) Having nothing to do for 5 months. Both happened in 2007 and 2008.