• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

The tight gits thread ...

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #71
    Why have an expensive girlfirend or wife. Simply indulge in a one-time cost and purchase a blow up doll.

    Bagpuss.
    Hard Brexit now!
    #prayfornodeal

    Comment


      #72
      Can't afford Bendicks Bittermints but don't want to appear mean with After Eights?

      Well you can afford them now, thanks to my handy recipe below....

      Just squirt a tube of extra strong white toothpaste until contents are empty and add a generous couple of capfuls of Listerine's super minty mouthwash. Freeze until solid.

      Cut into round discs the size of a genuine Bittermint about quarter of an inch thick and then dip into a pool of melted extra bitter dark chocolate and re-freeze until solid.

      Cover with old genuine Bittermint green foil wrappers you've fished out of the bin, along with the discarded box.

      Cover each disc and place into box to present to guests.

      They'll never notice.

      Comment


        #73
        Originally posted by sasguru View Post
        Why have an expensive girlfirend or wife. Simply indulge in a one-time cost and purchase a blow up doll.

        Bagpuss.
        Why indulge in a one-time cost to purchase a blow up doll. Madame Palm and her 5 lovely daughters do the job for free.

        atw
        Hard Brexit now!
        #prayfornodeal

        Comment


          #74
          Originally posted by sasguru View Post
          Why have an expensive girlfirend or wife. Simply indulge in a one-time cost and purchase a blow up doll.

          Bagpuss.
          Why have an expensive girlfirend or wife. Simply beat your own bishop and fantasise about Bagpuss.

          Sasguru.

          Comment


            #75
            Enjoy permanent '2 for 1' promotions on all your favourite goods by placing one item into your shopping basket, and the other in your coat pocket.

            Comment


              #76
              Originally posted by oracleslave View Post
              Why have an expensive girlfirend or wife. Simply beat your own bishop and fantasise about Bagpuss.

              Sasguru.
              See previous post
              Hard Brexit now!
              #prayfornodeal

              Comment


                #77
                Originally posted by sasguru View Post
                Why indulge in a one-time cost to purchase a blow up doll. Madame Palm and her 5 lovely daughters do the job for free.

                atw
                Ah, but think of the cleaning costs, "semen is such a persistant stain".
                The vegetarian option.

                Comment


                  #78
                  Originally posted by sasguru View Post
                  See previous post

                  Comment


                    #79
                    Originally posted by Board Game Geek View Post
                    That's all well and good, but what about a friend of mine who is currently going through the op. How does she use it ?
                    Of all trannies, a tranny sexily dressed for the good of its victims may be the most impressive. It would be better to live under knobber barons than under impotent moral busybodies. The knobber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his stupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who tease us for our own good will tease us without end for they do so with the approval of their own audience.

                    Not C.S. Lewis









                    (\__/)
                    (>'.'<)
                    ("")("") Born to Drink. Forced to Work

                    Comment


                      #80
                      Bravo EO !

                      That really brought a smile to my lips on this cold, depressing day.

                      thank you sir !
                      Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

                      C.S. Lewis

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X