Long story short: Will you marry me ?

[MarillionFan]

Much though I'd love to go in to the gory details and seek some real advice from you motley lot, on reflection I'll give you the short version.

Through a series of unfortunate events, someone at ClientCo has asked me to marry them. If I decline, it will be impossible to continue to work together, and she has the influence to have my contract terminated. But I don't want to accept. I've shot myself in the foot here by leading her on a bit. But I haven't even pecked her on the cheek, nevermind shagged her. So it's worrying she would ask without really knowing me very well. The moment to laugh it off "ha ha good one, yeah, right" has passed, or more accurately, I watched the moment slowly sail past me and failed to jump aboard.

I'm going to have to find a new role, and sharpish, which is going to be very very inconvenient. Or I'll have to concoct a whole "it's not you it's me" load of tulip. But I don't think I can emerge from this unscathed. Which should teach me a lesson.

OK, flamethrowers at the ready... and go

Tell her you believe in sex before marriage and so couldn't possibly do so until you've tried her out.

[OwlHoot]

Perhaps you could tell her you have some frightful deformity or injury "down below" that means sex is out of the question.

Or from past events, would she know that was a fib?

[anonymouse]

Can you provide a substitute instead?

[vetran]

missing the important question - Would Mich?

[d000hg]

Can I nominate this as an early candidate for thread of the year 2015?

[OwlHoot]

Can I nominate this as an early candidate for thread of the year 2015?

and can I ask Platypus to tell us the wedding date once this is decided, and give us all invites?

[FatLazyContractor]

Tell her you believe in sex before marriage and so couldn't possibly do so until you've tried her out.

^ This.

While I don't normally agree with this twat of a poster (for no reason), he is correct.

[mudskipper]

Well you've managed to convince us you're a bit of a twat, and definitely not a good catch, so the trick is to ensure she gets the same impression.

[vetran]

and can I ask Platypus to tell us the wedding date once this is decided, and give us all invites?

ah a CUK wedding I'll get my hankie!

[Scruff]

Well you've managed to convince us you're a bit of a twat, and definitely not a good catch, so the trick is to ensure she gets the same impression.

Does she have one that you can perhaps avail yourself the usage thereof, before committing marital suicide, or is (s)he a LadyBoy?