How to prepare for possible divorce in advance

[viyeno]

hi all,

[WTFH]

1) If you can afford and decide to buy a bigger house with substantial joint mortgage - is it going to make things more complicated or does not matter much ?

A substantial mortgage is just going to be puting more debt on both of you, and I'd suggest that if the reason you're not divorcing now is because of the kids, then the reason not to trow a load of debt on each other should also be for the kids.

The alternative is current house extension or going for a slight upgrade (no debt / low debt)

My question on this is why do the extension if you know that in the next year there will be one less person living in it? (also depending on planning permission and availability of builders, it may take longer and will cost more than you think.)

Sorry to hear that you're getting divorced, in reality the only winners in it are the lawyers, I would suggest you keep things as simple as possible, because no matter what, they'll get you.

[Lance]

go and see a marriage counsellor FFS...

This 'planning' needs to be done together. The best way for all concerned, if a marriage is going to breakdown, is to do it amicably. And marriage counselling is the first step, cos even if it doesn't fix the underlying problems it at least helps with a route towards and amicable separation.
That will avoid lawyers costs.

I'm not sure I agree with having less debt when the debt is mortgage. But what needs to be factored in is can one of you afford to keep the house, and if not what's it worth and how does that cover other costs.

Oh. And assume everything is gonna be split 50:50. Cos it almost certainly is unless you do want to make lawyers rich

[WTFH]

I'm not sure I agree with having less debt when the debt is mortgage. But what needs to be factored in is can one of you afford to keep the house, and if not what's it worth and how does that cover other costs.

I agree, I didn't word my reply as good as yours.

I also fully agree with seeking help now.

[GregRickshaw]

Get a pre-nup, it's not so Hollywood as it sounds and isn't reserved for the rich and famous.

It's also not a portent of doom it's just sound financial planning which makes sure both of you (and any dependents) are taken care of and enable both of you to get on with your lives again. You are guarding against failure not predicted failure.

Most marriages fail over money problems so just make sure neither of your lives are destroyed.

[Lance]

Get a pre-nup, it's not so Hollywood as it sounds and isn't reserved for the rich and famous.

It's also not a portent of doom it's just sound financial planning which makes sure both of you (and any dependents) are taken care of and enable both of you to get on with your lives again. You are guarding against failure not predicted failure.

Most marriages fail over money problems so just make sure neither of your lives are destroyed.

hmmm.... I wonder what the "pre" bit of pre-nuptial agreement means..

pre- - Wiktionary


Anyway... Pre-nups are about one person keeping more than 50%. Which if you're a 65+ billionaire sugar daddy marrying a 25 year old with no cash, sort of makes sense. But not in the real world.

[GregRickshaw]

hmmm.... I wonder what the "pre" bit of pre-nuptial agreement means..

pre- - Wiktionary


Anyway... Pre-nups are about one person keeping more than 50%. Which if you're a 65+ billionaire sugar daddy marrying a 25 year old with no cash, sort of makes sense. But not in the real world.

That is such a cliched view of a pre-nup and probably why so many divorces end not just in acrimony but also a financial disaster and worst still lining not your pockets or the former love of your life pockets but the lawyers pockets.

You as many others I suspect view them (pre-nups) simply as a guard against gold diggers and you have given an example.

However in the real world, it's merely a contract to ensure both of you are taken care of should the worst happen. Think of it as insurance.

Of course no one would dare ask for a pre-nup of the love of their life for risk of offence and 'we'll never get divorced' etc., etc., Tell that to the 50% of marriages.

[NotAllThere]

Pre-nups in the UK can be taken into consideration by the court, but they don't have to be. Further, the OP is already married, so a bit late for a pre-nup.

[GregRickshaw]

Pre-nups in the UK can be taken into consideration by the court, but they don't have to be. Further, the OP is already married, so a bit late for a pre-nup.

Fair shout. But the post is how to prepare for possible divorce in advance so advice for others too...

As we all know on here, some of us more than others, what goes on in court and with lawyers is well beyond our comprehension.

However I still think they are a good idea, more chance of marriages ending in divorce more than crashing your car or your house being damaged by a tree yet we insure against the latter two all the time.

So IMHO get insurance against divorce as it's more likely to happen than your roof blowing off or shunting the rear end of a car on the M4

[Lance]

Fair shout. But the post is how to prepare for possible divorce in advance so advice for others too...

As we all know on here, some of us more than others, what goes on in court and with lawyers is well beyond our comprehension.

However I still think they are a good idea, more chance of marriages ending in divorce more than crashing your car or your house being damaged by a tree yet we insure against the latter two all the time.

So IMHO get insurance against divorce as it's more likely to happen than your roof blowing off or shunting the rear end of a car on the M4

• The law says you have to insure your car.
• Your lender says you have to insure your house.
• A pre-nup is not insurance, it is a contract, that can quickly become invalid if/when challenged. Having one is more likely to result in an acrimonious divorce than accepting 50/50 split.
• If you want insurance to protect against divorce, get actual insurance Divorce looming? It could pay to insure yourself (citywire.com)
• What lawyers do is not beyond comprehension.