Reply to: People who fart at the urinals

[darmstadt]

I've never understood why some guys undo and partially lower their trousers when weeing at a urinal. I can only conclude it's some macho BS to try and indicate that they are so well hung this palaver is a necessity to manage their massive unwieldy weapon, which they otherwise couldn't hope to do through the confines of their flies like the rest of us. But the evidence, such as I've seen in passing, suggests this explanation couldn't be further from the truth.

More likely it's some infantile regression to their early potty training days, not unlike thumb sucking, and the chances are that people who do that are as gay as coots anyway.

Germans tend to do this, unbuckle the belt, undo the zip or buttons, give a good old tug and then kind of shuffle around so that their back is facing you. Either that or talk to you.

[minestrone]

People who go in to toilets and put their bag down on the ground next to them when they are at the urinal make me want to huey.

The bag must get soaked with pish, then they probably go on the bus and put the bag on the seat next to them.

[Pondlife]

HTF has this not ended up in LR

[d000hg]

I've never understood why some guys undo and partially lower their trousers when weeing at a urinal.

If you have a button fly, urinals are a real pain in my experience since you risk them falling down. But then I dislike urinals in general.

[d000hg]

What bugs me are people who...leave turds smeared on the bowl back without cleaning it off.

How are you supposed to clean inside the bowl, I don't recall ever seeing a brush in each cubicle if at all in office toilets.

[OwlHoot]

What pees me off most (haha) is when you can smell someone having a pot noodle in the traps. Most off putting

Huh? You mean a Trimethylamine fishy "uncircumcised and unwashed" odour? God, you must have a powerful sense of smell.

Mind you, I caught a strong whiff of it at a meeting once, and had a pretty good idea who the culprit was. I felt like hinting he should pull it back in the shower, but that isn't really the kind of thing one can mention.

[Bagpuss]

What pees me off most (haha) is when you can smell someone having a pot noodle in the traps. Most off putting

[OwlHoot]

I've heard that women's toilets are far worse

Absolutely - Some of the things they gossip about in there, and the language, would make your ears burn!

I've never understood why some guys undo and partially lower their trousers when weeing at a urinal. I can only conclude it's some macho BS to try and indicate that they are so well hung this palaver is a necessity to manage their massive unwieldy weapon, which they otherwise couldn't hope to do through the confines of their flies like the rest of us. But the evidence, such as I've seen in passing, suggests this explanation couldn't be further from the truth.

More likely it's some infantile regression to their early potty training days, not unlike thumb sucking, and the chances are that people who do that are as gay as coots anyway.

[Bagpuss]

I've heard that women's toilets are far worse

[swamp]

Bad quality, overused bogs are a hallmark of working in the modern IT office. Too many blokes (who usually eat and drink crap) crammed into too small offices. Worse for contractors too I'd say -- I've been stuck in some shocking places. On one contract I had to queue to crap, it was worse than Glastonbury.

[BolshieBastard]

Farting while having a piss is the least of the worries. What bugs me are people who

try and piss through the seat instead of lifting it up first.
take a dump and dont flush
leave turds smeared on the bowl back without cleaning it off.

[minestrone]

My friend snapped one off on my other friend's uni notes one night when he was pissed.

They woke up to find a stink in the living room where he crashed out and after a quick search found a big brown crayon on his java notes.

[ChimpMaster]

I bet sometimes when you fart a little poo comes out.

[DaveB]

You're doing it wrong. Push harder and fly up 'em!

Or failing that use it for a controlled descent, Jump Jet style

[Mich the Tester]

I fart if I run up the stairs too quickly... it's just age I guess.

I'm 37 BTW.

I sometimes fart on the rugby pitch when I break into a sprint. It's not age; I farted on the start line of a 100 metre race when I was 26 and everyone else ran off. Some poor sod got disqualified as it was the second false start.

I call it my afterburner.