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Previously on "Where do you go when you die?"

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  • NickFitz
    replied
    Originally posted by assclown View Post
    if your karma is bad you get reincarnated as an IT contractor.

    if your karma is good you get reincarnated as some sort of higher form of life. A chimpanzee for example.

    Leave a comment:


  • NickFitz
    replied
    Originally posted by Xenophon View Post
    I'm almost definitely going dooooown when I die. To that hot, fiery place, with she-monsters clad in thigh-high leather boots, wielding bull-whips.

    Yay.

    That's up, not down.

    Down is this interminably dull place where all you get is a cloud and a harp.

    Leave a comment:


  • VectraMan
    replied
    No Laughing in Heaven
    (Gillan,McCoy,Torme,Towns,Underwood)

    I used to be a sinner used to have my cake and eat it
    They warned me of my fate but I was quite prepared to meet it
    You'll go to Hell they smiled at me and told me of the roaring fires
    But I was happy living wild and fuelling my own desires
    I was a wild man, drinking, smoking and messing around with women
    Lots of women. No, not swimming, women

    I wanna go to Heaven
    The place to be is right up there
    I wanna go to Heaven
    It's gonna be good so I won't despair

    I decided to reform and pray, beg mercy for my soul
    I prayed in Church, threw away my bad habits
    Prayed out of Church, adopted an entirely different role
    I gave money to the poor, until I was poor
    But at least I ensured that I would go up there
    Instead of down below, to the inferno
    Where the evil flames of desire
    Burned higher and higher and higher

    I'm gonna go to Heaven
    Paid my dues so I'm getting in
    I'm gonna go to Heaven
    It's looking good if I abstain from sin

    I knocked on the pearly gates, neatly side-stepping the long queue
    Waved hi to St. Peter, who checked my card and let me through
    I smiled. threw my hands in the air
    Laughed, and got arrested
    The said 'hey man, you're in the wrong place
    You behaviour is a disgrace
    Here we pray every hour, on the hour
    Read extracts from the Bible
    And look solemn'
    What says I, no party?
    No party?
    Let me out!

    Let me out of Heaven
    I got it wrong no I can't stay here
    No laughing in Heaven
    Let me out, I just can't stay here

    Well I ran around in a state of shock and panic, this wasn't what I expected
    Here was what looked like a bunch of manic-depressives
    Can I get a transfer I screamed?
    But no. Once you're in Heaven, you're here for good, the good of your soul
    But that's no good to me
    If you want to go to Hell, you've really got to be bad
    Okay okay, I'll be bad, I'll be bad
    Too late!
    What do you mean too late?
    Too late!
    No !
    In the meantime...

    Let me out of Heaven
    I've got it wrong, no I can't stay here
    No laughing in Heaven
    Oh god it's awful here
    Going crazy in Heaven
    Take me out let me go to Hell
    No laughing in Heaven
    Don't laugh this place is Hell.

    (Copy and paste, it's great).

    Leave a comment:


  • xoggoth
    replied
    Horrific waking up deaf, blind, unable to move. I would go insane.

    Leave a comment:


  • VectraMan
    replied
    Originally posted by 2uk View Post
    You become permie.
    Hell is being doomed to hearing the same reposts over and over again.

    Leave a comment:


  • 2uk
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Heaven?
    Hell?
    The Macrocosm?
    Worm Food?
    Emptiness?

    Ok some of you older contractors, it's time to fezz up, some of you aren't far off. Sas, we can probably count on our fingers the number of months you've got left.

    So the question is, Is there life after death?
    You become permie.

    Leave a comment:


  • 51st State
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
    My post here notwithstanding, I simply don't intend to die.

    Southend, isn't it?
    Nah - South Wales

    Leave a comment:


  • Platypus
    replied
    Originally posted by KathyWoolfe View Post
    I'd certainly like there to be life after death, where I can meet all my friends and relatives (that I like).
    I'll bet there are lots of fluffy rabbits and other nice animals there too!

    Leave a comment:


  • PAH
    replied
    Originally posted by wobbegong View Post
    See below!


    I used to be that optimistic.

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Where do you go when you die?

    See below!

    Leave a comment:


  • KathyWoolfe
    replied
    Originally posted by PAH View Post
    Maybe we go back to the place we were before we evolved the 5 senses.

    Strange to think what we'd be like without them.

    Was thinking about it last night after seeing the news where some guy was deaf and blind after being poisoned with anti-freeze by his wife. How does he communicate or learn to communicate after that? I noticed he had something attached to his head and ears so maybe technology offers a solution?
    There are people who help you I think - somethig called the Helen Keller Institute or something like that. I guess you would have to communicate by touch - don't know how, even the intricacies of sign language for the deaf is beyond me. Some people say I don't even know how to communicate in English.

    Leave a comment:


  • ThomasSoerensen
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Heaven?
    Hell?
    The Macrocosm?
    Worm Food?
    Emptiness?

    Ok some of you older contractors, it's time to fezz up, some of you aren't far off. Sas, we can probably count on our fingers the number of months you've got left.

    So the question is, Is there life after death?
    You become permanent moderator of the TPD thread

    Leave a comment:


  • PAH
    replied
    Maybe we go back to the place we were before we evolved the 5 senses.

    Strange to think what we'd be like without them.

    Was thinking about it last night after seeing the news where some guy was deaf and blind after being poisoned with anti-freeze by his wife. How does he communicate or learn to communicate after that? I noticed he had something attached to his head and ears so maybe technology offers a solution?

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    My post here notwithstanding, I simply don't intend to die.

    Southend, isn't it?

    Leave a comment:


  • assclown
    replied
    if your karma is bad you get reincarnated as an IT contractor.

    if your karma is good you get reincarnated as some sort of higher form of life. A chimpanzee for example.

    Leave a comment:

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