Reply to: Where do you go when you die?

[NickFitz]

if your karma is bad you get reincarnated as an IT contractor.

if your karma is good you get reincarnated as some sort of higher form of life. A chimpanzee for example.

[NickFitz]

I'm almost definitely going dooooown when I die. To that hot, fiery place, with she-monsters clad in thigh-high leather boots, wielding bull-whips.

Yay.

That's up, not down.

Down is this interminably dull place where all you get is a cloud and a harp.

[VectraMan]

No Laughing in Heaven
(Gillan,McCoy,Torme,Towns,Underwood)

I used to be a sinner used to have my cake and eat it
They warned me of my fate but I was quite prepared to meet it
You'll go to Hell they smiled at me and told me of the roaring fires
But I was happy living wild and fuelling my own desires
I was a wild man, drinking, smoking and messing around with women
Lots of women. No, not swimming, women

I wanna go to Heaven
The place to be is right up there
I wanna go to Heaven
It's gonna be good so I won't despair

I decided to reform and pray, beg mercy for my soul
I prayed in Church, threw away my bad habits
Prayed out of Church, adopted an entirely different role
I gave money to the poor, until I was poor
But at least I ensured that I would go up there
Instead of down below, to the inferno
Where the evil flames of desire
Burned higher and higher and higher

I'm gonna go to Heaven
Paid my dues so I'm getting in
I'm gonna go to Heaven
It's looking good if I abstain from sin

I knocked on the pearly gates, neatly side-stepping the long queue
Waved hi to St. Peter, who checked my card and let me through
I smiled. threw my hands in the air
Laughed, and got arrested
The said 'hey man, you're in the wrong place
You behaviour is a disgrace
Here we pray every hour, on the hour
Read extracts from the Bible
And look solemn'
What says I, no party?
No party?
Let me out!

Let me out of Heaven
I got it wrong no I can't stay here
No laughing in Heaven
Let me out, I just can't stay here

Well I ran around in a state of shock and panic, this wasn't what I expected
Here was what looked like a bunch of manic-depressives
Can I get a transfer I screamed?
But no. Once you're in Heaven, you're here for good, the good of your soul
But that's no good to me
If you want to go to Hell, you've really got to be bad
Okay okay, I'll be bad, I'll be bad
Too late!
What do you mean too late?
Too late!
No !
In the meantime...

Let me out of Heaven
I've got it wrong, no I can't stay here
No laughing in Heaven
Oh god it's awful here
Going crazy in Heaven
Take me out let me go to Hell
No laughing in Heaven
Don't laugh this place is Hell.

(Copy and paste, it's great).

[xoggoth]

Horrific waking up deaf, blind, unable to move. I would go insane.

[VectraMan]

You become permie.

Hell is being doomed to hearing the same reposts over and over again.

[2uk]

Heaven?
Hell?
The Macrocosm?
Worm Food?
Emptiness?

Ok some of you older contractors, it's time to fezz up, some of you aren't far off. Sas, we can probably count on our fingers the number of months you've got left.

So the question is, Is there life after death?

You become permie.

[51st State]

My post here notwithstanding, I simply don't intend to die.

Southend, isn't it?

Nah - South Wales

[Platypus]

I'd certainly like there to be life after death, where I can meet all my friends and relatives (that I like).

I'll bet there are lots of fluffy rabbits and other nice animals there too!

[PAH]

See below!

I used to be that optimistic.

[wobbegong]

Where do you go when you die?

See below!

[KathyWoolfe]

Maybe we go back to the place we were before we evolved the 5 senses.

Strange to think what we'd be like without them.

Was thinking about it last night after seeing the news where some guy was deaf and blind after being poisoned with anti-freeze by his wife. How does he communicate or learn to communicate after that? I noticed he had something attached to his head and ears so maybe technology offers a solution?

There are people who help you I think - somethig called the Helen Keller Institute or something like that. I guess you would have to communicate by touch - don't know how, even the intricacies of sign language for the deaf is beyond me. Some people say I don't even know how to communicate in English.

[ThomasSoerensen]

Heaven?
Hell?
The Macrocosm?
Worm Food?
Emptiness?

Ok some of you older contractors, it's time to fezz up, some of you aren't far off. Sas, we can probably count on our fingers the number of months you've got left.

So the question is, Is there life after death?

You become permanent moderator of the TPD thread

[PAH]

Maybe we go back to the place we were before we evolved the 5 senses.

Strange to think what we'd be like without them.

Was thinking about it last night after seeing the news where some guy was deaf and blind after being poisoned with anti-freeze by his wife. How does he communicate or learn to communicate after that? I noticed he had something attached to his head and ears so maybe technology offers a solution?

[NotAllThere]

My post here notwithstanding, I simply don't intend to die.

Southend, isn't it?

[assclown]

if your karma is bad you get reincarnated as an IT contractor.

if your karma is good you get reincarnated as some sort of higher form of life. A chimpanzee for example.