Reply to: When its time to get something new - permies etc.

[eek]

I do see what you are saying but don't think you've worded it right. I think everyone can do something to manage it, but yes It's not going to be successful for everyone. If people think they can't try the raft of techniques out there I don't think they've tried very hard. Like many behavioural things I think it can be improved with effort over time to some degree. Saying' I just can't' is probably part of the problem IMO, and if that is the case then you are probably right.

For example. Conflict is a big cause of stress and many people just think you've got to go head to head or put up and shut up but there are loads of models like Thomas and Kilmann who put forward methods of dealing with it such as Competing, Compromising, Collaborating, Avoiding, and Accommodating. There are loads of other theories. If someone is struggling with conflict related stress and don't know terms like these then I think there is a good chance they can get better at it. If they are just too stressed to care then yes, that type of person won't be able to change.

I do think stuff like this and other soft skills should be part of a contractors approach, not just tech skills. We are gonna see it all dealing with so many clients over a career so being able to make it easier is surely a good thing no?

It's also something that even your average contractor will need to do. Its got to be impossible for your average contractor not to show up the permanent employees around them as they will have worked in other places and know more.

One of the first things a contractor needs to know is how to correct things without annoying others and how to handle people when you are (probably without trying and realising) showing them up...

[Antman]

PC and NLUK were having a sensible discussion. You are not adding to it.

Either contribute in a grown-up manner or stop posting in this thread.

Did I miss some tear in the space/time continuum?

[cojak]

Are you sure?
If NLUK doesn’t reply to our posts he gets stressed.

I can imagine his manager with lack of teeth.

PC and NLUK were having a sensible discussion. You are not adding to it.

Either contribute in a grown-up manner or stop posting in this thread.

[northernladuk]

...and what about your accountant, he works for you.

Typical permie.

[northernladuk]

I believe that you had to read all of this books.

You need to breathe and count until 5...or more.
For me works very well...most of the cases.

How about you just stop being an idiot and quit the trolling?

[SueEllen]

I believe that you had to read all of this books.

You need to breathe and count until 5...or more.
For me works very well...most of the cases.

If I'm at the point of counting and you are supposedly an adult I need to leave the room.

[SueEllen]

Well, everybody has someone to report at the client. Oh you are on the bench.

...and what about your accountant, he works for you.

The person we demonstrate our work to is the client representative.

They may have the word "manager" in their job title and they may not.

[Bee]

I do see what you are saying but don't think you've worded it right. I think everyone can do something to manage it, but yes It's not going to be successful for everyone. If people think they can't try the raft of techniques out there I don't think they've tried very hard. Like many behavioural things I think it can be improved with effort over time to some degree. Saying' I just can't' is probably part of the problem IMO, and if that is the case then you are probably right.

For example. Conflict is a big cause of stress and many people just think you've got to go head to head or put up and shut up but there are loads of models like Thomas and Kilmann who put forward methods of dealing with it such as Competing, Compromising, Collaborating, Avoiding, and Accommodating. There are loads of other theories. If someone is struggling with conflict related stress and don't know terms like these then I think there is a good chance they can get better at it. If they are just too stressed to care then yes, that type of person won't be able to change.

I do think stuff like this and other soft skills should be part of a contractors approach, not just tech skills. We are gonna see it all dealing with so many clients over a career so being able to make it easier is surely a good thing no?

I believe that you had to read all of this books.

You need to breathe and count until 5...or more.
For me works very well...most of the cases.

[Bee]

I don't have a manager. I'm a contractor.... unlike some round here....

Well, everybody has someone to report at the client. Oh you are on the bench.

...and what about your accountant, he works for you.

[northernladuk]

Are you sure?
If NLUK doesn’t reply to our posts he gets stressed.

I can imagine his manager with lack of teeth.

I don't have a manager. I'm a contractor.... unlike some round here....

[Bee]

Come on NLUK. Everyones different. Not everyone can steam in, cause arguments, then walk away from it and not give a hoot.

Think yourself lucky if you're one of those who are totally unaffected by stress etc. But theres a lot more it.

Are you sure?
If NLUK doesn’t reply to our posts he gets stressed.

I can imagine his manager with lack of teeth.

[northernladuk]

Everyones brain is wired/works differently. Yes some people can do things to manage it - I would argue not everyone though.

I do see what you are saying but don't think you've worded it right. I think everyone can do something to manage it, but yes It's not going to be successful for everyone. If people think they can't try the raft of techniques out there I don't think they've tried very hard. Like many behavioural things I think it can be improved with effort over time to some degree. Saying' I just can't' is probably part of the problem IMO, and if that is the case then you are probably right.

For example. Conflict is a big cause of stress and many people just think you've got to go head to head or put up and shut up but there are loads of models like Thomas and Kilmann who put forward methods of dealing with it such as Competing, Compromising, Collaborating, Avoiding, and Accommodating. There are loads of other theories. If someone is struggling with conflict related stress and don't know terms like these then I think there is a good chance they can get better at it. If they are just too stressed to care then yes, that type of person won't be able to change.

I do think stuff like this and other soft skills should be part of a contractors approach, not just tech skills. We are gonna see it all dealing with so many clients over a career so being able to make it easier is surely a good thing no?

[psychocandy]

Indeed. It just appears some people run in to it time and time again so I do think it's not just down to the personality of the person, it's what mechanisms they use to manage it.

Everyones brain is wired/works differently. Yes some people can do things to manage it - I would argue not everyone though.

[fidot]

Think yourself lucky if you're one of those who are totally unaffected by stress etc.

He's not affected but may be a carrier

[northernladuk]

Come on NLUK. Everyones different. Not everyone can steam in, cause arguments, then walk away from it and not give a hoot.

Think yourself lucky if you're one of those who are totally unaffected by stress etc. But theres a lot more it.

Indeed. It just appears some people run in to it time and time again so I do think it's not just down to the personality of the person, it's what mechanisms they use to manage it.