Originally posted by BrilloPad
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
test please delete
Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
Collapse
-
-
Comment
-
Originally posted by FiveTimes View Postmight be a good idea to go away next year, but then its not faI
one year I went way and spent all the whole day either in bed or eating. that was a good day!Comment
-
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 47th birthday. She
spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home she stops at a news-stand to buy a paper.
Before leaving she asks the salesclerk, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," the clerk replies.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the same question.
She replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies,"Nope, I am 47!"
Now she is feeling really good about herself. While waiting
for the bus to get home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. although, when I
was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was,
but it requires you to let me put my hands down your panties.
Then, can I tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got
the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go
ahead".
The old man slips both hands down her panties and begins
to feel around.
After several minutes she says, "Okay, Okay, how old am I?"
He removes his hands slowly and says, "You are 47."
Stunned, the woman says, "That is amazing. How do you
know?"
The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."Comment
-
> A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
> he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could
> get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
> today you expect me to show it to you."Comment
-
Comment
-
> Woman's Quote of the Day:
>
> "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job
> to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into
> something with which you'd like to have dinner with."
>
> Men's Counter-Quote of the Day:
>
> "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and
> intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they
> go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."Comment
-
-
Today, 20:21 #58185
BrilloPad
Super poster
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: London
Posts: 3,982
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
pali!!
Comment
-
opps - sorryOriginally posted by FiveTimes View PostHave I wandered into the Joke thread
shall I post more jokes or drivel some more?Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- All the big IR35/employment status cases of 2025: ranked Dec 23 08:55
- Why IT contractors are (understandably) fed up with recruitment agencies Today 13:57
- Contractors, don’t fall foul of HMRC’s expenses rules this Christmas party season Dec 19 09:55
- A delay to the employment status consultation isn’t why an IR35 fix looks further out of reach Dec 18 08:22
- How asking a tech jobs agency basic questions got one IT contractor withdrawn Dec 17 07:21
- Are Home Office immigration policies sacrificing IT contractors for ‘cheap labour’? Dec 16 07:48
- Will 2026 see the return of the ‘Outside IR35’ contractor? Dec 15 07:51
- Contractors, Reeves’ dividends raid is disastrous. Act, but without acceptance Dec 12 07:10
- Why JSL indemnity clauses putting umbrella contractors on the hook could be a PR disaster Dec 11 07:36
- The JSL legislation we’ll surely get just dropped. Here’s 4 ‘indelibles’ Dec 10 07:26

Comment