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    and take the trees to the tip

    Comment


      Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
      all the christmas decorations are down, and just need to put them in the loft

      is it the 5th Jan today?

      Comment


        Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
        and take the trees to the tip
        you have more than 1 tree? wow! I am impressed...

        Comment


          in a weird way I'm looking forward to getting back to work. Standard lunch - roll, fruit etc... no crap snacks, biscuits, toffee

          Comment


            Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
            only got the one, so not going to fall out.
            Mrs M, is down the hospital visiting her sis. Big C operation
            oh dear - I hope it goes well

            my father died from Big C when I was 6 - but then most know someone affected by it.

            Comment


              Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
              I wouldn't like to pick a fight with an army chap....
              You never mess with f**kers, c**ts or chaps over 40.

              Only way to win is not to fight fair - and I am as evil as they come.

              Comment


                Originally posted by FiveTimes View Post
                in a weird way I'm looking forward to getting back to work. Standard lunch - roll, fruit etc... no carp snacks, biscuits, toffee
                it does get a tad much, doesn't it...

                Comment


                  100 reasons we're glad to be MEN

                  1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
                  2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
                  3. You know stuff about tanks.
                  4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
                  5. Monday Nite Football.
                  6. You don't have to monitor your friend's sex lives.
                  7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
                  8. You can open all your own jars.
                  9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
                  10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.
                  11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on
                  every shot of someone crying.
                  12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
                  13. All your orgasms are real.
                  14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
                  15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
                  16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
                  17. You understand why "Stripes" is funny.
                  18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
                  19. Your last name stays put.
                  20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
                  21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that
                  everyone secretly hates you.
                  22. You can kill your own food.
                  23. The garage is all yours.
                  24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
                  25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
                  26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
                  27. You never have to clean the toilet.
                  28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
                  29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
                  30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
                  31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still
                  be your friend.
                  32. Your underwear costs $10 for a three-pack.
                  33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
                  34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
                  35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
                  36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
                  37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
                  38. You can write your name in the snow.
                  39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
                  40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
                  41. Chocolate is just another snack.
                  42. You can be president.
                  43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
                  44. Flowers fix everything.
                  45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
                  46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
                  47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
                  48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
                  49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
                  50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
                  51. Foreplay is optional.
                  52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
                  53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
                  54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
                  55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
                  56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
                  57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
                  58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
                  59. You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even
                  thinking "He must be mad at me"
                  60. The world is your urinal.
                  61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about
                  to leave you.
                  62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
                  63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
                  64. One mood, all the time.
                  65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
                  66. You never have to drive to another gas station because
                  this one's just too skeevy.
                  67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
                  68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
                  69. Same work....more pay.
                  70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
                  71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
                  72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
                  73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
                  74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population
                  in 15 tries, at least in theory.
                  75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
                  76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
                  77. The remote is your's and your's alone.
                  78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
                  79. ESPN's sports center.
                  80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
                  81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
                  82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
                  83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
                  84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
                  85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your
                  friends you've changed.
                  86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
                  87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "**** it!"
                  88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become
                  lifelong buddies.
                  89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
                  90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
                  91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
                  92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
                  93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and
                  throw
                  it across the room.
                  94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
                  95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
                  96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
                  97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
                  98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice
                  anything different?"
                  99. Baywatch
                  100. There is always a game on somewhere.

                  Comment


                    Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post
                    oh dear - I hope it goes well

                    my father died from Big C when I was 6 - but then most know someone affected by it.
                    I think the op went quite well.

                    And like you say, we all know someone who has been affected

                    Comment


                      Two friends are discussing the possibility of love. "I thought I was
                      in love three times," one friend says.

                      "How so?" his friend asks.

                      "Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted
                      nothing to do with me."

                      "Was that not love?" his friend asks.

                      "No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago
                      I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand me."

                      "Was that not love?"

                      "No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met
                      a woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart,
                      funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere I followed
                      her on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit
                      of my stomach."

                      "Was that not love?" his friend asks.

                      "No," he replies. "That was motion sickness."

                      Comment

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