• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

test please delete

Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    evening all.

    Comment


      Bumpity

      Comment


        Bubumpbump
        Confusion is a natural state of being

        Comment


          http://www.jokefile.co.uk/sick/jumper.html

          Confusion is a natural state of being

          Comment


            HOW TO GET A LIFE

            It's never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't as painful as kidney stones.

            Difficulty Level: Hard
            Time Required: Years

            Here's How:


            Let go of the mouse.

            Turn off the computer.

            Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.

            Eat something other than taco chips.

            Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.

            Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.

            Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.

            Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).

            Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.

            When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.

            If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.

            Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.

            Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name.

            Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.
            Confusion is a natural state of being

            Comment


              Drug dealers and software developers - a comparison

              Drug Dealers

              -----------------------------------

              * Refer to their clients as "users".
              * "The first one's free!"
              * Have important Asian connections.
              * Strange jargon:
              "Stick"
              "Rock"
              "Wrap"
              "E"
              "Stash"
              "Drive-by"
              "Hit (LSD)"
              "Source"
              "The Pigs"
              * Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
              * Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
              * Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product.
              * Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes
              * When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
              * A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
              * Product causes unhealthy addictions.
              * Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.



              Software Developers

              -----------------------------------

              * Refer to their clients as "users".
              * "Download a free trial version..."
              * Have important Asian connections.
              * Strange jargon: "SCSI"
              "RTFM"
              "Packet"
              "C"
              "Cache"
              "CTRL ALT DEL"
              "Hit (WWW)"
              "Source-code"
              "Microsoft"
              * Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
              * Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
              * Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent products.
              * Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and fund managers.
              * When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
              * A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
              * DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D...
              * Damn! DAMN!!!
              Confusion is a natural state of being

              Comment


                Bored now
                Going to watch a movie online Goodnight all
                Confusion is a natural state of being

                Comment


                  Morning all

                  Hi Ho Hi Ho and all that

                  Really enjoying myself on site this week. They say a change is as good as a rest

                  Not a computer in sight for over a week, except for the ones in the home office of course.

                  The office and It side are running smoothly in my absence, so I think my IT staff have finally made me redundant (great ) Revenue is up and I have several new clients so I think I will stay on site for another week before returning to the drudgery

                  Well have to drop wifey off to her keyboard bashing now so see you later
                  Confusion is a natural state of being

                  Comment


                    morning all.

                    Comment


                      Diver - you need to get more sleep mate....

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X