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    Grrrr, the lookup on the standards numbers is too blody slow to keep up
    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.



      cabbage n. Girls; totty (qv). As in "I'm looking forward to going out this evening. I hope to get some cabbage".

      cable laying euph. To excre solid stools. As opposed to crop spraying (qv).

      Cadbury Alley n. See Bourneville Boulevard.

      camel's foot n. Of leggings and tight jeans, those folds generate in a ladies crotch when they an pulled up too tightly. See also Twix lips.

      Captain's Pie n. 1. Hairy pie; haddock pastie (qv). 2. Of ship's catering, that pie which belongs to the captain.

      carnival knowledge n. Latin phrase meaning to have intimidate relations with. As in: "Have you had carnival knowledge with your wife within the last two weeks?"

      carpenter's dream euph. Sexually promiscuous woman. As in: "Flat as a board, and easy to screw".

      carpet duster n. A dense, heavier-than-air fart which forms a thin layer over the whole carpet.

      carpet muncher euph. One who eats hairy pie (qv). Nothing to do with pillow biting.

      casting Churchill's reflection v. A political impression involving a porcelain bowl with water in the bottom, your arse and a bum cigar.

      champagne corks n. Bullet-hard nipples that pop out of the tit pants (qv) with enough force to take your eye out.

      channel tunnel funnel n, Descriptive term for a very large chocolate eye.

      check the roast v. To see if what you've been baking (qv) is ready to come out. To have a sh1t.

      cheese ridge n. The fertile area of the pe*is where knob cheese (qv) is cultivated. Also banjo (qv).

      cheesey wheelbarrow n. The penis, as it might appear while being pushed by an uphill gardener (qv).

      Chinese tool n. A feeble penis, ie hardly up to the job in hand.

      chocolate chimney sweep euph. He who applies his purple headed womb broom (qv) to dirtier duties.

      chocolate eclair n. A Cleveland steamer (qv).

      chocolate snail's trail n. The sticky brown trail left by the turtle headed snail

      chocolate speedway n. Bumhole; poop chute. Also chocolate whizzway.

      chocolate speedway rider n. Botter (qv).

      chocolate sandwich n. A sexual act performed in the presence of Arthur Lowe, involving a black man and two white lady strippers.

      chocolate starfish n. See chocolate eye, speedway, etc.

      choke the chicken euph. See bash the bishop; burp the worm.

      chuff 1. v. To pass wind; shoot a bunny rabbit. e.g. "Oops! Best open a window vicar. I believe I've just chuffed". 2. n. Va*ina; ladies front bottom.

      chuff chowder n. A pungent soup served as a first course when dining at the Y, hopefully without croutons.

      chuff mountain EEC n. Surplus of woman guests at a party.

      chuff muncher n. A woman in comfortable shoes (qv).

      chug v. Choke the chicken; spank the monkey; burp the worm.

      chugnuts n. Extremely big piles. "A cushion, Mrs. Bennet, a cushion! I fear the frivolities at Lady Marchmain's ball has brought down my chugnuts no end." (from 'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen).

      chumbawumbas n. A rather predictable use of a pop group's name as slang for breasts. Also Bananaramas (pe*ises), Wurzels (testicles) and BeeGees (hairy twats).

      chunder v. To produce a pavement pizza (qv); barf (qv).

      chutney farmer euph. A man who rears chocolate starfish (qv); botter (qv). Also chutney ferret.

      cider visor n. Beer goggles for the younger street drinker.

      circlejerk n. A shared round of hand shandies (qv).

      clabby adj. Exceptionally pink. Used to describe bacon strips (qv).

      clagnuts n. Dangleberries (qv). Also tagnuts.

      clam jousting n. A sexual encounter between lesb1ans. Also Velcro fastening.

      clam smacker n. A lesb1an.

      clear-cut euph, A particularly violent bout of logging.

      clear the custard euph. To have a long overdue wa*k. e.g. "Ooooooh I've got balls like boulders. I'd better nip upstairs and clear the custard'.

      Cleveland steamer 1. n. A merchant cargo vessel operating on Lake Erie. 2. euph. A sexual act, much favoured by Germans, that doesn't bear thinking about. See chocolate éclair.

      climb on v. The culmination of a romantic evening. "Lavinia was powerless to resist. His eyes burned into hers like sapphires. His strong arms enfolded her tender body as she felt herself being swept away in a whirlwind of passion. Then he dropped his trollies and climbed on." (from 'The Lady and the Gentleman' by Catherine Cookson).

      clinkers Aus. n. Difficult to remove poo particles; winnits; kling-ons.

      cliterature n. One handed reading matter.

      clout 1. n. Clunge (qv). 2. n. prop. South African lesb1an rock band.

      cloven hoof n. Camels's foot; camel's mouth. In fact, any part of a camel.

      clown's hat n. A bald man in a boat; a clematis.

      clusterf**k n. A regrettable situation of immense idiocy.

      cock-a-fanny v. The act of hiding one's wedding tackle between one's legs to give the appearance of having female genitalia. Popularised by Captain Sensible and East German shot-putters of the 70's.

      cockoholic n. One who is addicted to cockohol.

      cock-knocker n. A gentleman who banks at the back door.

      coilus interruptus n. Cath. Lat. Method employed by God to prevent the birth of Meatloaf's daughter (qv) whereby the Jehovah's Witnesses ring the doorbell just as you are laying the foundations of a log cabin.

      combustofiatulation n. The highly dangerous act of flame throwing with one's trouser trumpet.

      concrete donkey n. See horse's handbrake.

      conkers deep adj. To be in a state of total intromission. "Titania was powerless to resist. His eyes burned into hers like sapphires. His strong arms enfolded her tender body as she felt herself being swept away in a whirlwind of passion. Within seconds he was conkers deep." (from 'The Lady and the Officer', by Catherine Cookson).

      Constuble n. A roughly shaven minge.

      cooter 1. n. prop. US. A character from 'The Dukes of Hazard'. 2. n. The visible contents of Daisy Duke's shorts in 'The Dukes of Hazard'.

      cooter cutters n. US. The type of shorts worn by visible contents of Daisy Duke in 'The Dukes of Hazard'.

      cornbeef sandwich n. The contents of Daisy Duke's lunchbox.

      crapper n. Lavatory. From the German inventor of the self-cleaning water closet, Thomas tulipehousen.

      crescent wa*k n. To arrange one's favourite jazz periodicals in a half moon display, before kneeling down to perform a five finger exercise on the sp**k trumpet.

      crop spraying euph. To have diarrhoea. As opposed to cable laying (qv). For example, a doctor may enquire: "So; how's your old Gary Glitter? Have you been cable laying or crop spraying"

      cumulo nimbus n. The posh Latin term for oral sex; the stimulation of the clematis.

      curl one off v. To carefully deliver a stool. - curler n. A lump of excrement so delivered, Also crimp off a length naval slang.

      cut the cheese euph. To fart.
      I don't know my arse from an hole in the ground


        Originally posted by DaveB
        Grrrr, the lookup on the standards numbers is too blody slow to keep up
        I edited to help you out.


          Thanks Clownio, I'll have to see how many of those I can slip into the documentation I'm working on.


            Hmm, need another 20 posts before Xeno comes back from lunch.
            "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.


              Unfortunately the creative juices seem to have run a little dry.
              "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.


                Shouldn't be too hard


                  I hope it rains this weekend


                    9268 - Implants for surgery -- Metal bone screws with conical under-surface of head -- Dimensions
                    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.


                      If it rains then I won't have to gloss the window frames at the back of the house