People who fart at the urinals

[DaveB]

You're doing it wrong. Push harder and fly up 'em!

Or failing that use it for a controlled descent, Jump Jet style

[ChimpMaster]

I bet sometimes when you fart a little poo comes out.

[minestrone]

My friend snapped one off on my other friend's uni notes one night when he was pissed.

They woke up to find a stink in the living room where he crashed out and after a quick search found a big brown crayon on his java notes.

[BolshieBastard]

Farting while having a piss is the least of the worries. What bugs me are people who

try and piss through the seat instead of lifting it up first.
take a dump and dont flush
leave turds smeared on the bowl back without cleaning it off.

[swamp]

Bad quality, overused bogs are a hallmark of working in the modern IT office. Too many blokes (who usually eat and drink crap) crammed into too small offices. Worse for contractors too I'd say -- I've been stuck in some shocking places. On one contract I had to queue to crap, it was worse than Glastonbury.

[Bagpuss]

I've heard that women's toilets are far worse

[OwlHoot]

I've heard that women's toilets are far worse

Absolutely - Some of the things they gossip about in there, and the language, would make your ears burn!

I've never understood why some guys undo and partially lower their trousers when weeing at a urinal. I can only conclude it's some macho BS to try and indicate that they are so well hung this palaver is a necessity to manage their massive unwieldy weapon, which they otherwise couldn't hope to do through the confines of their flies like the rest of us. But the evidence, such as I've seen in passing, suggests this explanation couldn't be further from the truth.

More likely it's some infantile regression to their early potty training days, not unlike thumb sucking, and the chances are that people who do that are as gay as coots anyway.

[Bagpuss]

What pees me off most (haha) is when you can smell someone having a pot noodle in the traps. Most off putting

[OwlHoot]

What pees me off most (haha) is when you can smell someone having a pot noodle in the traps. Most off putting

Huh? You mean a Trimethylamine fishy "uncircumcised and unwashed" odour? God, you must have a powerful sense of smell.

Mind you, I caught a strong whiff of it at a meeting once, and had a pretty good idea who the culprit was. I felt like hinting he should pull it back in the shower, but that isn't really the kind of thing one can mention.

[d000hg]

What bugs me are people who...leave turds smeared on the bowl back without cleaning it off.

How are you supposed to clean inside the bowl, I don't recall ever seeing a brush in each cubicle if at all in office toilets.