Insults required

[cojak]

I am currently working in an environment that requires a quick wit with a good retort.

Unfortunately I'm not quick enough , so can anyone suggest standard insults that could prove suitable for ANY OCCASION?

[BrilloPad]

http://forums.contractoruk.com/340532-post40.html
http://forums.contractoruk.com/184008-post5.html
http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...ghlight=thrush
http://forums.contractoruk.com/light...wear-word.html

[BrilloPad]

Do you have a personalized number plate? c**t1 is available...

[b0redom]

I hope your hamster dies in a freak yachting accident?

I hope your nads turn to cubes and fester on the corners?

[cojak]

Ta chaps!

[wobbegong]

Being very careful not to upset the resident Ferret;

"Why don't you pi** off ya f***ing monkey" and "You donkey raping s**t-eater" always go down well.

the latter courtesy of "South Park"

[EqualOpportunities]

Being very careful not to upset the resident Ferret;

"Why don't you pi** off ya f***ing monkey" and "You donkey raping s**t-eater" always go down well.

the latter courtesy of "South Park"

p******g

[wobbegong]

p******g

Nope.

[BrilloPad]

You know that HRH? That is you that is.

[EternalOptimist]

The last time I saw a gob like that, Lester Piggot was sitting behind it