Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Name six Wimmin footballers ? Nope ?
Name six atomic elements from the periodic table?

See, you're closer to being a scientist than you first thought!

[vetran]

Prince Andrew says he's in favour of pulling out of ECHR.

Although he can't remember for the life of him which schoolgirls' initials they were.

[vetran]

"Ready or not--here I come!"
Jane loved hide-and-seek, but the sex was disappointing.

[vetran]

A general assumption regarding bed sheets is still a blanket statement.

[vetran]

Panto worthy

My friend sells words from the dictionary.
I got 'noteworthy' and 'notice' for cheap as they were next to nothing.

[vetran]

Why do farts smell?

For the benefit of the deaf

[vetran]

Gary Numan is actually 13 days older than Gary Oldman.

[NotAllThere]

Humus. The vegan wing of Hamas.

Now there's fanaticism.

[WTFH]

Do you want to know what really grinds my gears?




Poor clutch control.

[vetran]

For NLUK :

A Wakefield rugby league fan is drinking in a Yorkshire bar, when he gets a call on his mobile phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical Yorkshire baby boy weighing 25lb Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at twent five pounds, but the rugby fan just shrugs and replies, ?That?s about average in Yorkshire ? like I said , my boy?s a typical Yorkshire baby boy. Gonna be a rugby league player.? Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of ?WOW!? One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, ?Say, aren?t you the father of that typical Yorkshire baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody?s beenm making bets about how big he?d be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?? The proud father answers, ?twenty pounds.? The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. ?What happened? He already weighed twenty five pounds the day he was born?
The Yorkshireman takes a slow swig of his Tetley?s Bitter, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says??..?

Had him circumsized!"