Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I said to the baker..
"How come all your cakes are 50p and that one's ?1?"
He said..." that's Madeira cake"

[vetran]

I've just joined the Jehovah's bystanders.

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

[vetran]

As she reached up for the quinoa on the top shelf, her tiny skirt rode up and exposed the cheeks of her pert young buttocks. Then, as she leaned over the fruit and veg opposite me to pick out the best, ripest avocados, her large firm bra-less breasts swung free. Then, as she bent to the bottom shelf to select a bottle of first pressed extra virgin olive oil, I could see the soft mound of her pouting lips straining to be contained against her barely adequate thong.

This isn't just a hard on, this in an M&S hard on.

[vetran]

If Allah does not exist, why did the universe start with the Big Bang?

[vetran]

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Kinky fecker, isn't he?

[vetran]

It's A-Levels results day and Stockholm University agreed to take a chance on me.

I got ABBA

[vetran]

I went to a fortune teller last week and he told me a lot of money is coming my way.

I walked out really excited, then I got hit by a Securicor van.

[vetran]

Teacher: "Why are you late?"

Sharon: "My boyfriend lied and didn't pull out."

[vetran]

Transgender athletes share their stories.

It takes a lot of balls to win in women?s sports these days

[WTFH]

My wife and I met through a dating agency for dolphin impersonators.

The minute we met we just clicked.