A defendant gets found Not Guilty of stealing a car.
So he says to the judge: "Can I keep the car then?"
So he says to the judge: "Can I keep the car then?"
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Left some fruit and vegetables outside my house with an honesty box.
When I returned, there was a note inside the box telling me I’m far too old to be wearing skinny jeans.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much...
It scared me so much that today I’ve decided never to read it again.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
Schwepped her off her feet.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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I found out my doctor’s only been prescribing me placebos but the joke’s on him as I’m not really ill.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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Having a candlelit dinner with the wife tonight.
The electric bill's just arrived.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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'...A dog and a cat are having an argument about who is the favourite of humans.
The dog says, "Humans like us more. They have even named a tooth (canine) after us.
Naming such an important body part after us shows they like us more."
The cat smiles and says, "You are really not going to win this one you know."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My friends were all eating fruits from a pyrus tree, and they all kept telling me to try some too!
But I don't give in to pear pressureAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Man dies after inserting bath tap into rectum.
It was a fitting end.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Are Viagra jokes classed as stand-up comedy?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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