Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My missus was telling me about the dreadful train crash in India which claimed the lives of over 200 people,

"Thank god it could never happen here, " I said.

"Why can't it happen here?" she answered,

"Because they're always on ******* strike, " I replied.

[vetran]

What goes...**** it...**** it ...**** it?


Jesus trying to hold a marble

[vetran]

Dave: " My child won't eat meat, what can I replace it with?"
Jim: " Replace it with a dog, those ****ers eat meat all the time"

[vetran]

BBC News: Dad pronounced dead in London...




Well, That's cockney for ya!

[vetran]

What do you call a female Muslim stripper?






Youseen Memuff..

[vetran]

One thing comedy and bondage have in common, people truly enjoy the gags.

[vetran]

Sprinting is awful for your joints.



Especially when you're too slow and the police catch you and confiscate them all.

[vetran]

Granddad left me a globe in his will.

It means the world to me.

[vetran]

Arguing with my wife is like seeing a rock band in concert, she always starts with some new material.

But then goes back to the same tulip I've heard a thousand times before.

[vetran]

Do you ever wonder why Welsh greyhounds run so fast?

That's because they've seen what they do to their sheep

[vetran]

Why did the trans man order salad?



Because he was a her before.

[vetran]

At my funeral please take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who's next.

[vetran]

ChatLGBT: Hello darling! How can I assist you today?...Oh my God! Your shoes are just so fabulous!

[WTFH]

Gardener: Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?


Frank:Yes.


Gardener: In a nutshell, it's an oak tree.

[WTFH]

A lorry containing oversized snooker tables has overturned on the M62 near Leeds this morning.



A police spokesperson said to expect very long queues.