Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

New idea for a reality t.v show. Get a load of annoying, pretentious, thick as tulip boys and girls, and get them to compete in stupid games, display nudity and participate in mindless sex, with the losers then being pushed off a cliff.


Shove island

[vetran]

To the women who say "Men are only interested in one thing"

Have you ever considered being more interesting?

[vetran]

Richard Branson finally flew his Virgin Galactic jet into space, but technically he only made it to the very edge of Space and had only 4 minutes of weightlessness.


So if you barely touch the edge and last only a few minutes, I think that's still a Virgin.

[vetran]

Italy have now gone 34 matches without losing, next challenge 10 minutes without trying to hospitalize someone

[vetran]

If you want Americans to stop protesting and just get the vaccine there is a very simple solution.

Announcing the new iVac which costs $1699 and stops working after a year and a half. Also it is about 60% as effective as the basic version but it comes in a white, gold or pink syringe.

[vetran]

Cressida Dick is made a Dame Commander by Prince Charles

PC, CD is made a DC by PC

[vetran]

I know a girl with one leg shorter than the other.



Lena.

[vetran]

For Cojak


I went to an Italian restaurant last night and had the Tagliatelle Savalas.


Its like a normal tagliatelle, but they stick a few lollipops in it.

[vetran]

I was having a stroll through the cemetery yesterday when I came across some council workers digging up a grave.

Being the nosy chap I am, I went over and said, "What's going on?"

The guy in the hole said, "We're exhuming this body."

"Oh, is it part of some ongoing murder investigation?" I asked.

"No," he replied, "the Tory government have deemed him fit for work."

[vetran]

Simply put a % sign after your age to see how dead you are...