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Please put more jokes here

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    I got sacked for turning up late, on my first day at work, on the Waltzers.

    Anyway, I'm suing for funfair dismissal.
    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

    Comment


      I've decided to respect Harry and Meghan's request for privacy by not watching their Oprah interview.
      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

      Comment


        I’ve just raised £12,000 for the NHS.

        I had to park my car overnight at the hospital.
        "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

        I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

        Comment


          Three friends walk into Pontins an Englishman , Scottishman and a Ir ....... , well that jokes ruined now ....
          "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

          I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

          Comment


            I shagged a Midget with Coronavirus, and developed short-covid
            "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

            I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

            Comment


              I phoned Pontins Customer Service and said..
              "I've just heard about your discriminatory policies, are you taking the Mick?"
              They replied.."Well, we weren't but we are now."
              "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

              I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

              Comment


                I wonder if Mr. Potatohead is able to mash-turbate?
                "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                Comment


                  As i sat there awaiting my covid jab the young nurse said "you might feel a bit of a prick".

                  I replied, have you heard my jokes love I'm used to it.
                  "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                  I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                  Comment


                    The next time Nicola Sturgeon demands a second Indy referendum, just tell her that it already happened & NO won again.

                    Her memory appears to be so bad that it’ll work.
                    "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                    I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                    Comment


                      I have the luck of the Irish.

                      I'm barred from every Pontin's in the country too.
                      "If you didn't do anything that wasn't good for you it would be a very dull life. What are you gonna do? Everything that is pleasant in life is dangerous."

                      I want to see the hand of history on his collar.

                      Comment

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