Originally posted by SimonMac
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
Originally posted by SimonMac View PostGood artists borrow;
Great artists steal!Comment
-
It finally happened!
The flight attendant asked "is there a doctor on this flight?" (did you know the odds of there being a doctor on a flight are 32:1?)
I leapt up and said yes!
Did a tracheotomy at 30,000ft with a ballpoint pen.
I'd say that the likelihood of him making it was 13.6%.
In the end he didn't make it, but the thrill was undeniable.
I knew a doctorate in statistics would prove useful one day…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
I was asked to join a band as their rhythm guitarist. They are a covers band who mostly do Alanis Morissette and Bruce Dickinson songs.
They're called "Irony Maiden"…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
-
I was in a band called The Symbolics.
Sym left so we called it a day.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
-
There was a real band in Brighton called 'Dumpies Rusty Nuts'. Peel played them a couple of times.Comment
-
I got fired from my job for asking my customers whether they would prefer smoking or non-smoking.
Apparently the correct terms are 'cremation' and 'burial'.Comment
-
Comment
-
I was in a band where the drummer had only one piece of kit. But it worked out ok, he just used it as cymbal for rhythm.Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
-
Without school swimming lessons, I wouldn't be where I am today.
By the river, wearing pyjamas, about to save a drowning brick…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Contracting Awards 2024 hails 19 firms as best of the best Yesterday 09:13
- How to answer at interview, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ Nov 14 09:59
- Business Asset Disposal Relief changes in April 2025: Q&A Nov 13 09:37
- How debt transfer rules will hit umbrella companies in 2026 Nov 12 09:28
- IT contractor demand floundering despite Autumn Budget 2024 Nov 11 09:30
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
- Will HMRC’s 9% interest rate bully you into submission? Nov 5 09:10
- Business Account with ANNA Money Nov 1 15:51
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
Comment