Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Have you ever wondered about those people who pay a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards!.

[vetran]

First rule of Vegan club.

Tell ******* everyone about Vegan club.

[vetran]

one for AssGuru

Have you ever met someone for the first time, and immediately had an overwhelming desire to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

[vetran]

-I totally failed Safety and Health course today…
-How did you manage to do that?
-Well, one of the questions was, “in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?”
-And?
-“****ing large ones” was apparently the wrong answer.

[vetran]

For NLYUK

I used to date an opera singer, but it didn't work out.

She was all mi, mi, mi.

[vetran]

Scientists say, that one day, it may be possible to live on Mars.
What a load of rubbish.
I tried it for a month, gained nearly 3 stones in weight and developed, type 2 diabetes.

[BrilloPad]

We must end plagiarism.

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

[WTFH]

We must end plagiarism.

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one.

Milton Jones - Mock The Week

[TheFaQQer]

I got an odd-job man in.

He was useless.

Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.

Hats off to him though.

[BrilloPad]

Milton Jones - Mock The Week

Whooosshhh

Thats the sound of ironing going over a mod's head.