Please put more jokes here

[shaunbhoy]

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today. The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"
"Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

[shaunbhoy]

.

Had a ploughman's lunch & a shepherd's pie yesterday. Neither of them was particularly happy about it

[SimonMac]

I’m rubbish with Roman Numerals until I get to 159 and then it just CLIX

[shaunbhoy]

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I invade her privacy too often.
At least that's what it says in her diary.

[shaunbhoy]

Someone just came up to me, holding a beer, and claimed to be a ventriloquist. But I think it was the drink talking.

[ladymuck]

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. The real mystery is how they got in there in the first place

[shaunbhoy]

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way.
I think, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me after all.

[shaunbhoy]

I bought a book today called "Strange Coincidences". When I got home I found that I already had a copy. Weird.

[shaunbhoy]

I remember when my dad took us to the Blackpool illuminations. He said "it's like the Blackpool illuminations here" & he switched them off.

[shaunbhoy]

REPLICATE the transfer deadline day in your works canteen by panic-buying a pot noodle for £20, a minute before they close.