Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
"I like my women like my red wine."
"What, a full-bodied cheeky number?"
"No, 18 years old and kept in the cellar"
I'm going to hell for laughing at this aren't I? . This could be why I failed Women's Studies. I was highly surprised when I did cause bitches love me.
'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!
I went up to a fat bird in the pub last night
I said " Wow, you're a big lass aren't you"?
She said "Tell me me something I don't know"
"Ok" I said "Salad is good for you"
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The car was nowhere in the parking lot. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice."Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped YOU off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
He retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your bloody car!"
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist
Comment