Please put more jokes here

[WTFH]

One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS

...what was the question again?

You missed the setup line for this one. Go back to sickipedia.vk and re-copy it!


"How many women on PMS does it take to change a lightbulb?"

[vetran]

A joke is like a frog... When you dissect it, it dies.

Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

[WTFH]

A joke is like a frog... When you dissect it, it dies.

Get it?
Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

A joke is like a frog... When you dissect it, it dies.

Get it? Just like a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you explain it. Basically, the frog is used as an analogy, to help people understand that jokes shouldn't be explained, because the joke will die, or more specifically, become unfunny. So, just like when a frog dies when you dissect it, so does a joke when you dissect, or explain it.

Ever have the feeling of deja-vu?

[vetran]

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

[vetran]

FLC again

Two Thai girls asked me if I wanted to sleep with them. They said it would be like winning the lottery. To my horror they were right... we had 6 matching balls.

[vetran]

For Brillo

My wife has an odd way of starting conversations.

She always begin by saying "Hey, are you even listening?"

[vetran]

Ever have the feeling of deja-vu?

New Joke, New Joke so good they told it twice ?

[vetran]

I went to the pub last night and saw a MF dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
MF giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

[vetran]

If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black.

[vetran]

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?