Please put more jokes here

[baronne]

How do the Welsh find sheep in long grass?

... most pleasurable.

[anthony]

What is Forrest Gumps password to his computer

......1forrest1

[flamel]

How do the Welsh find sheep in long grass?

... most pleasurable.

The Welsh have discovered a new use for sheep - they can get wool from them.

[BrilloPad]

As I now live in Wales - just to even things up :-

A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock one day, when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from the stream which ran down from one of his fields. Realising the danger, he shouted over to the man, 'Paid a yfed y dwr! Mae'n ych-y-fi!' [Don't drink the water. It's disgusting!]

The man at the stream lifted his head and put a cupped hand to his ear, shrugged his shoulders at the farmer, and carried on drinking.

Realising the man at the stream couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer, 'Paid a yfed! Dwr ych-y-fi! Defaid yn cachu yn y dwr!' [Don't drink. Water's disgusting. Sheep poo in the water.]

Still the walker couldn't hear the farmer. Finally the farmer walked right up to the man at the stream and once again said again, 'Dwr yn ych-y-fi! Paid a'i yfed!'. [Water's disgusting. Don't drink it!]

'I'm dreadfully sorry my good man, I can't understand a word you say dear boy! Can't you speak English?' Said the man at the stream, in a splendid English accent.

'Oh I see', said the farmer, 'I was just saying, if you use both hands you can get more in........ !

[vetran]

My girlfriend and I were talking about obscure animals.

She said, "I've always wanted to get a manatee!"

I said, "Well, that's very generous, I take it with two sugars."

[vetran]

My friend suffers rather badly from Parkinson's Disease. Whenever you ask him about it, he gives you a free pen just for inquiring.

[vetran]

Pornhub has a good download speed.

About 30 Megatits per second.

[vetran]

Tesco has reported a record loss of £6.4 billion.

Well that's what you get for gambling on horses.

[vetran]

for MF

Being a fat bloke at McDonald's is a lot like being the muscle guy at the gym.

People tend to stay out of your way because they know that you mean business.

[vetran]

BBC NEWS: 100 billion barrels of oil found beneath Gatwick.

CNN NEWS: USA to invade Gatwick due to reports of hiding weapons of mass destruction.