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Please put more jokes here

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    Bathroom Humour at its finest:

    Ghost sh1t
    The kind where you feel the sh1t come out, but there is no sh1t in the toilet.

    Clean sh1t
    The kind where you sh1t it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

    Wet sh1t
    The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

    Second Wave sh1t
    This happens when you're done sh1t-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to sh1t some more.

    Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-sh1t
    The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

    Gassy sh1t
    It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.

    Drinker sh1t
    The kind of sh1t you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

    Lincoln Log sh1t
    The kind of sh1t that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

    Corn sh1t
    Self-explanatory.

    Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-sh1t sh1t
    The kind where you want to sh1t but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

    Spinal Tap sh1t
    That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

    Wet Cheeks sh1t (The Power Dump)
    The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

    Liquid sh1t
    The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

    Mexican sh1t
    It smells so bad your nose burns.

    The Surprise sh1t
    You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a sh1t!!!

    The Dangling sh1t
    This sh1t refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done sh1t-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.
    l l l http://www.thewantedfans.com

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      Fresh 9 inch c0ck covered in mustard sauce.

      Pierced n1pples dipped in boiling hot toffee.

      Soft cl!ts grilled on maple soaked skewers.

      Shaved b0ll0cks marinated in garlic and ginger, battered, lightly fried and served on a bed of crisp rocket.


      This isn't just food - it's S&M food.
      Best Forum Advisor 2014
      Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
      Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

      Comment


        Women eh!

        Boob jobs, nose jobs, teeth bleaching, tummy tucks, lipo suction, colonic irrigation, botox, pierced ears, nipples, bellys and clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini wax, armpits shaved, lips tattooed, legs waxed, diets, exercise and they wont take it up the ar*e cause it 'hurts'.
        "Wait, I still function!"

        Comment


          Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
          Fresh 9 inch c0ck covered in mustard sauce.

          Pierced n1pples dipped in boiling hot toffee.

          Soft cl!ts grilled on maple soaked skewers.

          Shaved b0ll0cks marinated in garlic and ginger, battered, lightly fried and served on a bed of crisp rocket.


          This isn't just food - it's S&M food.


          Thats got to be the winner.
          Hard Brexit now!
          #prayfornodeal

          Comment


            My ten year old told me this last so apologies.

            Whats the difference between France and a Tea bag ?

            A Tea bag stays in the cup longer.

            It was then repeated for every team that England have beated...

            Comment


              Just a short one........

              Never shag a retarded Dwarf; it ain't big and it ain't clever!

              Comment


                Originally posted by Ali C View Post
                Never shag a retarded Dwarf; it ain't big and it ain't clever!

                Nice!

                BTW
                Location: Reading - Shut up! It's a wonderful place.
                Oh no it bloody well isn't! Not as bad as Slough or Wycombe, granted, but certainly not 'wonderful' by any stretch of the imagination.
                The vegetarian option.

                Comment


                  Originally posted by wobbegong View Post
                  Nice!

                  BTW Oh no it bloody well isn't! Not as bad as Slough or Wycombe, granted, but certainly not 'wonderful' by any stretch of the imagination.
                  You are sooooo wrong!! When was the last time you came here.........?! Well had a few beers anyway....? It is very cosmopolitan these days don't you know........bars all over the place to fall in and out of ...and cleverly placed by the river to get rid of the dross when they've had enough!

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                    Was feeling a bit depressed last night so I rang the Samaritans and was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan. I explained that I was suicidal and they got really excited and asked me if I knew how to fly a plane!!
                    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
                      Was feeling a bit depressed last night so I rang the Samaritans and was forwarded to a call centre in Pakistan. I explained that I was suicidal and they got really excited and asked me if I knew how to fly a plane!!
                      Oh dear - stealing Churchill's jokes now.

                      Do try to keep up.
                      Best Forum Advisor 2014
                      Work in the public sector? You can read my FAQ here
                      Click here to get 15% off your first year's IPSE membership

                      Comment

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