Why do women take their children to supermarkets to smack them?
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
-
In mathematics, a transcendental number is a number (possibly a complex number) that is not algebraic, that is not a solution of a non-constant polynomial equation with rational coefficients.
Or in other words i've never seen a womans boobies, but my friend colin once pushed his moobs together and i got a hard on."Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
I've been advised to stop eating fish, on medical grounds.
Apparently I'm putting off the others in the waiting room."Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
Definition of pressure:
A wife, a mistress and a mortgage.
All one month late……"Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree on a Double Decker, it was just After Eight. They got off at Quality Street, infront of the Fishermans Friend pub. He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said in a quiet Wispa. "I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he replied. They checked into a hotel, he touched her Creame Eggs and then he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Milky Way, He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs. It was a Fab moment as she let out a scream of sheer Turkish Delight. Sadly, three days later his Sherbert Fountain started to drip. It turns out Ms Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett who had Allsorts!"Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
Who the fek puts in that extra stair when you're trying to walk downstairs in the dark?
The same person who takes one away when you try walking up them."Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but everyone can find and push the snooze button in under a second, eyes closed, first time, every time."Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
I heard a bloke singing, "Do... Re... Mi..." the other day.
I thought to myself, "He'll go Far.""Wait, I still function!"Comment
-
I see the new Michael Jackson film has been rated PG.
Even after his death he can't be trusted with kids.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Am I liable for my limited company's Bounce Back Loan? Today 09:06
- Contractors who exploit 'Work From Home' gigs risk landing themselves in hot water -- and you back at your desk Today 08:01
- Exchequer Solutions Ltd and its GBP11million tax bill: are there implications for contractors and providers? Yesterday 08:18
- Now High Potential Visas are here, are they a good option for non-UK contractors? Yesterday 07:44
- The top 10 umbrella company checklist for contractors Jun 24 09:00
- Exchequer Solutions Ltd director Mike Lowndes steps down from FCSA, following GBP11million unpaid tax ruling on contractor expenses Jun 23 08:41
- IR35 reviews and the MSC rules: 'Standardised Product' versus 'Tailored Advice.' What are the risks? Jun 23 08:05
- Peak PAYE Ltd 'named and shamed' by HMRC as a scheme promoter to avoid Jun 22 09:31
- How to close your company and extract the profits Jun 22 08:53
- Agency contractors, don't let your limited company become an afterthought Jun 21 08:59
Comment