Take cover!!

[xoggoth]

The Express is at it again.

The UK is about to be rocked by the most frenzied and chaotic start to summer EVER as monsoons and tornadoes rage in.

Ice stones the 'size of cricket balls' will cause devastation across the country in what forecasters fear could be the the worst hailstorms since a deadly 'supercell' led to hailstones leaving craters FIVE FEET deep across England 171 years ago.

Temperatures are expected to rocket to an incredible 91F (32.6C) by Saturday as a swathe of roasting hot air suddenly floods the British Isles

.

SHOCK WEATHER FORECAST: Worst HAILSTORMS in 170 YEARS to hit Britain THIS weekend | Nature | News | Daily Express

[doodab]

The proper weather forecast did mention some showers. I shall be sure to take a raincoat.

[NickFitz]

I see they do the usual thing of leading with a vision of the Apocalypse, then implying it has some scientific credibility by citing the Met Office (who only talk of thundery showers and the potential for localised flooding), before going all in with tame rentaquote merchants Vantage Weather Services, who happily spout a load of utter bollocks about cricket-ball hailstones and tornadoes

[d000hg]

I must say I really enjoyed the WORST THUNDERSTORMS FOR A CENTURY, except that we didn't get any thunderstorms at all.

[Mich the Tester]

Was this caused by legalising gay marriage?

[suityou01]

I wouldn't rule it out. About this time last year in NWR there was some pretty nasty "tropical" storms. 100 mph gusts, trees over and "pigeon egg sized" hail stones.

The SuityWagon was in an underground car park at the office for the evening as I was "out on the leash". 1000s of cars were destroyed and a tree blew over in the town square (quite a tall one) while I sipped beer and watched.

Very entertaining.

[Mich the Tester]

Was this caused by legalising gay marriage?

I wouldn't rule it out.

[suityou01]

Since legalising this do you now field "Would Mitch" questions regarding the other half of the population?

[barrydidit]

Was this caused by legalising gay marriage?

I was "out on the leash".

Yep. Ever since Suity's Rent-a-Gimp plan B was initiated to be exact.

[MarillionFan]

Yep. Ever since Suity's Rent-a-Gimp plan B was initiated to be exact.

Which we all know was a cheap rip off of the more successful Nick Fitz Rent a Chimp Plan B.